


Our story: Avalance

by MoonwritingFF



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, F/F, Gap Filler, Romance, Strong Female Characters, Superheroes, Women Being Awesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:56:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26377663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonwritingFF/pseuds/MoonwritingFF
Summary: Legends of tomorrow, focused on Avalance as main story. (Starting at the end of season 2)Have you ever wondered what they were thinking when they looked at one another?Who texted first? What did they text?Where did Ava go between episodes 3x15 and 3x16?Did they get to celebrate her birthday?These and ALL the other holes in the story are filled in with original content.The Complete Avalance Story is here.
Relationships: Sara Lance & Ava Sharpe, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 16
Kudos: 102





	1. The one where they meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers the season 2 finale and episode 3x01

"Guys… I think we broke time." Captain Sara Lance ventured as the whole team stood to contemplate the scenario. The Waverider had crashed in the middle of Los Angeles in 2017. In front of the ship they could see dinosaurs walking by and buildings that didn't belong there.

The Legends intended to go on holidays to Aruba, after another year of hard work protecting time. Instead, the team interacting with themselves in a time and place they'd already visited during their last mission, caused a paradox, which in turn caused time-quakes. And apparently, the displacement of prehistoric creatures, architecture, and who knows what else, through time.

"I guess this means we're not going to Aruba." Mick said.

"You said you broke time." Stein told Sara.

"No, I said _we_ broke time." She corrected.

"Yep...But it was your idea." Jax pointed out.

The Legends were blaming each other while walking outside the ship. 

Suddenly a dinosaur ran toward them. It happened so fast they could not escape. Instead they ducked in a desperate attempt to protect themselves.

A portal opened just between them and the gigantic beast at the last moment, and the dinosaur walked through.

Confused, the Legends looked around but there was no sign of the creature. 

Behind them, another portal opened and Rip Hunter walked out of it.

"Well, you really have buggered everything up this time." He said.

Rip wasn't wearing his iconic coat. Instead, he was wearing a blue suit and sunglasses. "My agents are hard at work already dealing with these anachronisms." 

The former captain of the Legends had left just fifteen minutes ago to create an organization to replace the Time Masters. For him, five years have passed, and in that time he had created the Time Bureau.

As everything seems to be under control, Rip tells the Legends their services are no longer required. He therefore relieves the Legends from duty.

The team feels disoriented, having lost their purpose, and they all head their separate ways to find a new path. 

* * *

After 6 months, Sara is throwing knives in the hallway of Sink Showers and Stuff. It's the only way she found to keep her sanity. This new life was plain boring and her supervisor was a pain in the ass. Speaking about the supervisor…

"This isn't auditions for American Ninja Warrior, you know?" He asked, walking in front of her.

_And do you know how easy it would be for a trained assassin to kill you? I already thought of 10 possible ways, and it is Monday._

This was the only 'normal' job she could find in Star City, because not many people wanted to hire someone who had been reported dead… twice.

The supervisor made sure she remembered that for the hundredth time in six months. And he called her 'Freckles'.

_Call me Freckles one more time, you useless piece of-_

"What? No thank you?" The man said, walking closer. 

Sara let her imagination play for a bit. She imagined how she could break his hand, push him to the floor and cut his throat.

She calmed herself. _Just do your job, Sara. Get your money, pay your rent, avoid trouble._ "Thank you." She said, with a fake smile. 

As she headed to the beauty section Sara showed her middle finger behind his back.

Later that day, Sara's phone rang. She picked up to hear Mick Rory's voice on the other end of the line. He explained that while in Aruba, Julius Caesar showed up. He's pretty sure he is an anachronism.

Sara says he should keep Caesar where he is, they don't want him to mess up history and bring the Bureau into their lives.

Her supervisor chose that moment to show up. "Son of a b-" she mutters hanging up.

"Are you taking a personal call during peak-consumer traffic?" He asks.

"No." Sara says. She quickly grabs a knife from the shelf in front of her and throws it in the man's direction. It sticks on the wall very close to his right ear. "Cause I quit."

She left, pushing some boxes off the shelf on her way out.

* * *

Just a few hours later Sara met Nate and Ray at a cafe in Star City. She told them about the anachronism and how she believes it is their chance to get their ship back.

The truth is none of them are really enjoying their new lives. They want to be Legends, that's what they are good at. Maybe not very good, but that's their place, and they should be allowed to fix what they broke.

One of Rip's agents visited Sara's place a while back, and she managed to steal his badge in the morning. That's convenient. They find the building where the Time Bureau operates in Star City and head over.

Stepping out of the elevator some agents pull out their guns and order them to freeze, so Sara, Nate and Ray stop walking and raise their hands.

"Hello everyone. Welcome." A blond woman wearing the Bureau's uniform walks towards them. "On the floor, hands behind your head." She says calmly.

Nate and Sara kneel but Ray tries to explain they are the Legends and this is a mistake. The woman quickly grabbed his hand, turned him around, kicked the back of his knee and then pushed him to the floor. 

"Oh, we know exactly who you losers are." 

Ray wouldn't keep quiet so she pressed him harder to the floor.

"Lady why are you so mean?" Ray asked.

"Maybe it's that poliblend pantsuit that's got her so grumpy." Sara said.

The woman turned to look at her. She said nothing with words but a lot with the eyes. They were a beautiful shade of blue, and they were so angry. But Sara thought she could also see some surprise in them.

Then it was Nate's turn to speak, so the woman stood up and pointed her gun at him. "What's wrong with you, people? Do you wanna get shot?"

"Hold your fire! Stand down. All of you." It was Rip Hunter walking toward them. He thanked the agents, welcomed the Legends and told them to call ahead next time.

Nate pushed him against the nearest column and pressed his arm to Rip's neck. Taking advantage of the distraction, Sara quickly took the gun from the woman's hand and pointed back at her.

Nate was very angry because he blamed Rip for Amaya's return to 1942. Hunter told Nate it had been Amaya's idea to leave.

"Alright, this is just awkward." Sara said, lowering the gun.

Immediately, the woman reached out to get her gun back. Rip called her agent Sharpe. She said there was no registered activity of anachronisms that could match Julius Caesar.

"Well I guess you must have missed one, then." Sara told her.

"I find that very hard to believe. And you know what? I've act-" agent Sharpe replied, anger sparkling in her eyes again.

She was interrupted by Rip, who ordered her to ready a go-team. One last defiant look at Sara, and then she left.

Rip took Sara, Ray and Nate on a tour inside the Time Bureau. During the tour they saw king Arthur, who had been found in the Spanish civil war. Sara hid her face from him. The last thing she needed right now was being recognized by Arthur as the woman who slept with his wife during a mission in Camelot… This day was really taking Sara in a rollercoaster of emotions, she craved her life as Captain of the Legends, but she also craved more.

Sara decided to push that other craving to the back of her mind and take the chance to ask Rip about the Waverider. He took them to the hangar where the Time Bureau used the Waverider as a training facility.

"You turned our ship into a simulator?" Sara asked, walking inside. She couldn't believe it, it was outrageous. The Waverider was a time ship! Her place was flying through space, saving time.

To make things worse, the team in training was going through one of the Legends' old mission… and calling them idiots. _Stupid kids. It's easy to come up with bright ideas while the ship is not moving, huh?_

Back in the office of the Time Bureau, they've located Mick. Agent Sharpe opens a portal to the beach in Aruba, but there is a party going on. Everyone at the party is dressed as ancient romans. Rory is there too, running after Caesar who had mixed into the crowd. The agents grab him and Caesar to bring them back. Only… that's not the real Caesar.

Sara and Ray are visibly embarrassed, hiding their face behind a hand. 

"Rip. Look, I'm sorry. I thought th-"

"The legends had changed?" Rip interrupted Sara. 

_What?_ "Since when do we need to change? When you left our team you said you had nothing left to teach me." She said.

Yes, the Legends screwed up history, they made a mess, caused the biggest time paradox ever. But it was their mess, they needed to fix it. 

"Using your team to fix anything, is like doing brain surgery with a chainsaw." Rip said.

Sara had no words to fight back. She felt hurt, betrayed. She felt left out and rejected. 

On their way out, Mick stopped at a snacks machine and tried to use a roman coin in it. That's when the Legends realized Rory found Caesar for real and decided to go get him to prove their value to the Time Bureau.

"Sara, exit's this way." Nate said.

"Our ship's this way." She replied.

Ray asked if they were going to steal the Waverider. Sara smiled and said, "We're gonna fix our mistakes."

Once on the ship, luckily it only took a second for Gideon to be back online. The engines were started and brought to full power. 

The agents in the office saw it all through the surveillance cameras.

"The hangar is sealed. There's no way out of here." Agent Sharpe said.

"I'm afraid the Legends have never permitted something like logic to stop them." Rip said.

Sara asked Gideon to time-jump them out of the building. She didn't even know if that was possible. But she felt powerful again on her ship, with her team, and nothing was going to stop her.

It worked.

Gideon was only able to take them three minutes into the future, though. The ship was in desperate need of maintenance. 

In Central City, they pick up Stein and Jax. Then they can head to Aruba and find Julius Caesar.

That was the moment when Sara first heard Nate say "Sometimes, we screw things for the better."

She liked it, and suggested they should use that as a motto.

At the beach, Caesar was already convincing people to fight by his side and conquer the world. Temporal linguistic displacia helped him with that.

Sara heard Rip's words echo in her mind, so she decided to prove the Legends could choose to be a scalpel instead of a chainsaw, anytime they wanted. As powers could make the anachronism worse, she was going to fight Caesar herself.

"Alright, JC. Party is over. You're coming with us." She said.

She dropped her sunglasses on the sand and easily won the fight. A couple of kicks and punches here and there, then Julius Caesar was unconscious.

Next step was taking the roman to his time in one piece. They needed to get moving, because the Time Bureau was on their heels. In fact, Rip tracked down the ship and contacted them.

After Rip's offer, Sara felt trapped. She really hated that feeling. As captain of the ship, it was on her to make the best choices for the team. If they returned Julius Caesar to the Time Bureau, they would let the Legends keep the Waverider and fix time. If they didn't… well they would be fugitives. And let's be honest, with all that technology it would be a matter of minutes for the Time Bureau to track them down.

"Gideon, plot a course for the Time Bureau." Sara said.

"Et tu, Sara?" Nate asked.

"I'm using my best judgement." She replied. Concern was written all over her face. _Do I really trust my best judgement?_

So after a change of clothes her legs lead the captain to the room where Caesar is kept. He quickly understands she is doubting her course of action. Sara tells him her course of action doesn't depend on her, her destiny lies in the hands of the Time Bureau and she feels tied. 

"If I go against them now they'll take my ship and if I lose it now, I lose everything." _I finally found my place. My people. My peace._

Sara wished she shared Caesar's confidence.

He walked closer to speak to Sara. He said she was an Amazonian queen, and she should be with him. Together they would conquer the world. Something clicked in Sara's head. _Excuse me? Because that's what women are for, right? They just walk with the emperor, doing the dirty work._ Somehow he reminded her of Rip Hunter, using that agent from the Bureau to do his dirty work. "Conquering the world sounds nice." She said. "But I don't need you to do it."

* * *

The Waverider landed in Cisalpine Gaul, year 49 b.c, the moment that Caesar disappeared from, according to Gideon.

Sara and Nate walk the roman emperor to his camp and use a memory flashers to make him forget his displacement. However, Nate took a book about Rome with him and Julius stole it.

As the United States are now known as Magna Hisperia, the Legends found out their mission wasn't complete at all. In fact, once again, they had made things worse.

Stein suggests they should tell the Time Bureau and let them take care of the problem.

"We can fix this before they even-" Sara started. But she was interrupted by Rip Hunter.

He walked in the Waverider through a portal, followed by agent Sharpe and other agents.

Both women pierced each other with their eyes once again before walking away.

Rip speaks to Sara basically telling her to stay out of their way. The Time Bureau will take care of everything.

A portal is opened and it takes agent Sharpe and other two agents to Caesar's camp. 

"Asset squired." She said through the coms. They had found the book.

"Hey, I've seen this play before." Sara told Rip. "Leave the merchandise unattended, draw the target out…"

"League of assassins strategy?" Stein asked.

"No, in Sink Shower & Stuff, we used it to catch shoplift-" Realization hit Sara. "It's a trap!"

Effectively, when the Time Bureau agents step out of the tent, they are surprised by roman soldiers.

"You gotta pull your team out of there." Sara told Rip.

Agent Sharpe opens a portal with her time courier. Two of the agents run through it, but she can't because Caesar puts his arm around her neck. Then he takes the time courier from her wrist and crashes it on the ground under his foot.

Sara and the Legends convince the Time Bureau and they are allowed to go rescue agent Sharpe. 

She is walking by Julius Caesar's Horse, her hands chained together. The Romans were already marching to meet the rest of the army. 

Suddenly a fireball explodes in front of them. It's Firestorm, providing the diversion needed. The Romans lose their position, only one stays next to the prisoner. Sara comes running and kicks him on the chest. She's holding two swords.

"What are you doing?" The agent asks.

"Rescuing you." Sara answers, cutting the chain.

"I can take care of myself." 

More Romans run towards them. The women stand back to back, one holding the swords, one holding the chain. They manage to defeat every soldier attacking them in perfect sync. 

The remaining romans are surrounding them, holding their shields. Sara grabs the chain with one hand and gets impulse spinning around the agent. Thanks to that, she can lift herself from the ground and step on the romans' shields. She kicks the last one on the face, and agent Sharpe uses her chain to knock the other two out.

When the fight ends, both women stop and stare at each other. Seems like there is a tension between them, some kind of magnetism. They can both feel it, and time slows down.

Snapping out of it, Sara turns around and walks away. 

They arrive just in time to see Mick Rory punching Caesar.

"See? Problem solved." Sara says.

"I gotta say, miss Lance. Now that I've seen your team in action with my own eyes…" agent Sharpe said. Sara was already feeling proud and turned to look at Mick, who should be proud as well. "You are even worse that I imagined." The agent finished.

Sara's face turned to her in anger. "You're welcome." She said.

 _Who does she think she is?_ Sara's thoughts were on fire as she walked away. _Miss Time Bureau just got her ass saved by us and she dares to- Ugh! I would- Ugh!_

Meanwhile, agent Sharpe couldn't quite shut off her own mind. _They are reckless, dangerous, troublemakers… Things got worse because of them, If only they could follow rules! Ugh!_

"Well, like Nate said. Sometimes we screw things up for the better." Sara told Rip. With the Legends new motto, she was really saying that, even if they didn't have the permission, they would continue travelling through time fixing their mess.

"Sir." Agent Sharpe walked towards Rip. "The go-team has erased the memories of Caesar and his forces."

She couldn't help glancing at Sara again. _Why do I keep looking at her?_ They exchange a half smirk that lingers in time.

* * *

"They are irresponsible, undependable, unpredictable, dangerous-"

"And yet effective. At least on occasion." Rip said.

"Is that the reason why they aren't warming a cell back at headquarters as we speak?" Agent Sharpe asks.

It's not the first time she questioned Rip Hunter with this. If the Legends were locked up the Time Bureau would be able to do a better job, with no complications.

Rip told her, again, that the Legends might be useful against the threat that's coming.

"They are the reason Mallus is a threat." She replied. _This is unbelievable_.

Yet Rip wants to keep the Legends out there for the moment they need a chainsaw.


	2. The one with confrontation and overthinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episode 3x02

Sara was feeling very happy to be home. Yes, the Waverider was her home and the Legends, her family. Thanks to Rory, they got some technology from the Time Bureau now. A time courier among them. Ray had been working on reverse technology, and now the Legends can locate anachronisms too. Not only that, but he has also designed a shrinking device to contain the anachronisms for 24 hours. It opened a big number of possibilities for their next missions.

Without realizing it, Sara's resolution to stand taller than the Time Bureau became a personal challenge.

Looking at the anachronism map, Sara could see the magnitude of their screw up. There were hundreds of dots in the map indicating the location of an anomaly. The Time Bureau classified them from 1 to 10 according to their potential impact in history and difficulty.

"I'm sure Little Miss Time Bureau would love to see us mess this up, so let's find something easy. A nice slam dunk." Sara said.

They found a Level 1 in Wisconsin, 1870. That's how the Legends brought the circus to the circus.

Turns out the anachronism was a sabertooth tiger Mr. P.T. Barnum had locked in a cage as part of his show. Nate, Jax and Ray found it, but the latter made a mistake. The animal got bigger instead of shrinking… increasing the difficulty from level 1 to level 4.

 _Great, these idiots released a giant sabertooth tiger._ _I really hope she can help us fix it._ Sara thought while on her way to Zambesi, 1942. They needed Amaya and her experience with animals. Sara couldn't give the Time Bureau an excuse to take the Waverider again.

Luckily Amaya accepted to join the Legends for one last mission. She and Sara went into the woods to find the tiger. The captain was visibly scared, while Amaya remained calm. Suddenly, the tiger stepped right in front of them.

"Whatever you do, don't run." Amaya warned.

Sara used the shrinking device just in time and they locked the little tiger in a cage.

Meanwhile, the rest of the team got in trouble at the circus. They had shown their powers in a bar fight and were kept by Mr. Barnum as part of the show.

Sara quickly noticed they were being watched by agent Gary from the Time Bureau. This discovery was kind of… disappointing. _Are we really that insignificant for the Bureau, that they only send Gary?_ She took him to the Waverider and tied him up on a chair to question him. _I am sure agent Sharpe sent Gary to spy on us._

It wasn't hard to get Gary to admit Sara's thoughts were true. He also informed that the anachronism jumped from level 4 to level 6.

 _How is that possible? We have the sabertooth tiger shrinked in a cage_ . Sara's head was spinning. The least she needed now was agent Sharpe on board of her ship. That would be indication of failure. _And also an annoying distraction._

Sara instructed Gary to call his boss and assure her everything was okay.

"This is agent 1066." He spoke to the little device with a screen showing agent Sharpe.

"You failed to turn your status report, Gary, and then you ignored my attempts to contact you. Somehow, during all of that the level 1 has escalated." After a brief pause she added, "to a level 8." Then she continued, "And where the hell are you? Is that the Waverider? I told you to keep an eye on the Legends, not to join them."

"Um…haha... turns out the Legends _had_ things under control…" Gary replied nervously. Sara was pointing a gun at him. "And it was my interference with their… to be honest, _expert_ handling of the situation which caused things to… well… escalate." Gary finished and Sara nodded approvingly.

Agent Sharpe was not naive and obviously noticed something was wrong. "Hm… Gary, if you're in over your head I can send backup immediately" she said. Sara loaded her gun.

"No no no no no, no backup." Gary replied. "As I said, the Legends have things under control."

Sara motioned for him to end the call. Assuring twice that the Legends had something under control was a risky move.

"Nice chatting. Gotta go." Gary said, ending the communication. "How did I do?" He asked Sara.

"You were great." She said, just before knocking him out with a punch.

The captain and professor Stein planned to leave the ship once again and rescue the Legends from the circus, but before they could even put their coats on, Gideon informed about increased chronometric interference onboard.

"Agent Sharpe has boarded the Waverider." She said.

"Get Rory. You two have to save the others." Sara instructed Stein.

Her plan was to hold agent Sharpe on board of the ship for as long as she could, to give the Legends time to fix things. _Please, please, don't screw things up again._ She mentally implored.

"Sara Lance, on behalf of the Time Bureau I am placing you and your team under arrest." 

Both women were facing each other, each from an extreme of the hallway.

_They finally send you, we are not that irrelevant anymore huh?_

"Took you long enough." Sara said. "I've been expecting you for hours." 

_This arrogant bitch._ _She has no respect for the rules! She just stands there looking… good._

"Pursuant to title 16, section 3053 of the Global Treaty of Time Travel, I have the authority to put you and your team in." _That's it. Rely on the rules and don't let her distract you._

"Which arm?" Sara asked.

"The Global Treaty was negotiated between Director Hunter and the United Nations."

"No, I mean, if you try to bring me into the Bureau, I'll break your arm." Sara said. "It's up to you. Right or left?" _That's it. Rely on your assassin abilities and don't let her distract you._

Agent Sharpe smiled. "Your threats may work on confederate zombies, Quentin Turnbull's cronies and speedsters, but you don't scare me." She said. 

_Keep your cool, Sara. Keep your cool_. 

"I spent the last five years watching your screw-ups, I know everything about you." The agent continued. "Now, where is the member of my team you've taken hostage?"

"You mean Gary?" Sara asked. "This ship is probably like a vacation after having to answer to you." _Take that, bitch!_

Agent Sharpe moved her right arm and extended a baton. She stared at Sara defiantly. "Last chance. Come quietly and I'll make sure you get your job back at Sink Shower & stuff." 

_Oh no she didn't!_ Sara extended one baton in each hand and smirked. "When did a Legend ever go quietly?"

Both women met halfway, both committed to accomplish their mission. They hit and ducked and turned and grunted. 

For Sara, it was a fight for her crew. Not only to guarantee them the time they needed, but also to prove herself as captain, worthy of her title.

For Ava, it was a fight for what was right, for justice, for order. This woman in front of her was crossing every line that was drawn on her way.

Sara jumped and kicked, but Ava blocked her, making one of the weapons fly from Sara's hand. She attacked with the other one, but Ava pushed her to the side, leaving Sara with her back against the wall. 

Their batons were crossed between their faces. Sara quickly stole Ava's and tried to hit her with it, but the agent pushed Sara's hand to the wall. The captain tried the same with the other hand, but Ava reacted fast again and held both Sara's hands against the wall over her head.

Their faces were only inches apart. The tension between them in that moment could have been cut with a knife, and Gideon took good note of it all.

Suddenly, Sara hit forehead against forehead giving her the space she needed to leave the vulnerable position she was in. 

Sara turned Ava around and put her arm around Ava's neck, but the agent quickly reacted again, and bent over sending Sara to the floor. Each woman kept holding one baton. Their eyes met again, flames on them.

The fight went on for a long time, they were equally skilled and that infuriated them even more. Neither wanted to stop fighting before the other. 

Kick, punch, duck, block, punch…

"Huh, Rip should have recruited you to the Time Bureau." 

"Rip knows I'll never leave the team."

"Your mistake."

Punch, block, punch, block, punch… and they ended with their backs on the floor at the same time. Both women were tired, bruised and lacked air.

"You wanna take a break?" Ava finally asked, breathing heavily.

Sara winced, touching her nose. "I could use some water." She said.

"Yeah." 

Sitting at the table in the galley, each of them kept an eye on the other while drinking water. Both were in deep thought.

Sara was reminded of that fight she had against herself that time she got inside Rip's head. It really had been very similar to this one and that pissed her off. Because that woman sitting there was fighting just like her. A double trained assassin. _Is that what is making you uncomfortable, Sara? Or is it the fact that she is a real challenge?_

Ava, on her part, was thinking about their dynamic. Of course she knew Sara was a trained assassin and a vigilante, but she never thought fighting with her would be so… natural. The other day against the Romans their moves had been in sync, only communicating with their eyes. She took a moment to look at Sara properly. _She is intriguing. According to the files she is a mess but when we fight I see something different._

Even though they were trying to make the break last, their glasses were almost empty. They heard a little miow and turned their heads to see the tiny sabertooth tiger walking into the galley. They were both secretly happy to have another excuse to extend the break.

"Hope that thing's potty trained." Ava said.

"Probably not. Cats are jerks."

"Let me guess, you're a dog person."

"I like 'em dumb and loyal." Sara said. It made Ava go "Tss"

Sara ignored it and added, "Speaking of, we should probably check on Gary." 

Suddenly the miow turned into a roar behind agent Sharpe, who sprang out of her chair in fear. The tiger had returned to its normal size.

Ava looked at it, terrified, and started walking backwards. Sara was frozen in the spot. "Whatever you do, don't-" before she could finish Ava ran away. "Run." Sara finished for herself _. I hate her. Here I go, I have to rescue her again._

Agent Sharpe ran down the hallway as fast as she could but she found a closed door at the end. The tiger was approaching in haunting mode. _Work, work, work!_ She desperately tried to focus on programming her time courier to take her out of there.

A portal opened next to her, Sara came out of it and tackled her into another portal on the other side. One second later, and it would be over.

 _How? What?_ "Where did you get a time courier?" Ava asked. She hated being saved again by Sara Lance.

They were next to Gary now, he spoke but they didn't listen to him. Agent Sharpe was visibly moved, she couldn't go back to her cool persona anymore. "That's stolen government property!" She said.

"You're just mad 'cause I saved your life _again_ " Sara pointed out. 

"Captain Lance, I hate to interrupt but I thought you'd like to know that the anachronism has reached a level 9." Gideon's voice sounded loud and clear. 

Sara and Ava couldn't hide their concern, even though they tried.

"My team's on it." Sara said.

Ava gasped. "And if they fail maybe Rip will finally give up on the ridiculous belief that your team could actually defeat-" She stopped herself from saying more, but she had said too much already. 

Ava shared a worried look with Gary. _Damn it!_ She was feeling something she wasn't used to feel, and it lead her to make mistakes. 

Sara smirked. _Aha! What was that?_

"You know what?" Agent Sharpe said, failing one more time in the attempt to get a grip on her feelings. "He's gonna take your ship away, miss Lance. Again." She awkwardly combed the strands of hair away from her face.

Luckily Sara bit her tongue this time. She didn't really want to keep fighting, she was tired and just wanted the day to be over, the anachronism handled and the Bureau out of her sight. So both women sat down in silence to wait for the Legends.

As soon as they arrived and opened the door for them, captain and agent put on their boss persona.

Ray informed them the tiger was shrinked once again and Stein now loves the circus.

"I don't believe you." Ava said.

"Oh it's true, he now thinks that without the circus, the world has lost one of its true places of wonder." Ray said with a smile.

Disgust was clear on Ava's face. "I mean, I don't believe that the anachronism has been dealt with."

"Believe it, agent Sharpe. I've already communicated director Bennet, 1870 Wisconsin is anachronism free." Gideon said proudly.

Sara laughed and looked at Ava. "Even our AI doesn't like you." She said.

Ava was the one biting her tongue this time.

Gary continued talking about how his feet and/or legs were asleep and how it could be permanent, and that's when Jax and Ray noticed the agent was still there, tied to a chair.

"That's Gary, can you give him a hand?" Sara said. She turned to Ava one more time. "I need to speak with you. In private" She said. For once, her tone was not angry or funny, it was just serious.

Ava waited for Sara in the parlor. She grabbed a framed picture from a little table. And looked at it with interest.

"Your sister, I presume?" She asked when Sara arrived.

Sara took the picture from Ava's hand and walked past her saying "and our friend Oliver." She placed the picture somewhere else and faced Ava. "So…"

Ava felt uncomfortable. She wasn't used to conversation outside work. "I suppose congratulations are in order. You get to keep your ship, _for now_. But-"

"You _will_ be watching us. Yes, yes, I've heard this before, so why don't you cut the crap and tell me what we're facing here." Sara said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." 

"You said _'Rip would finally give up his ridiculous belief that your team could actually defeat'_ and then you stopped yourself." Sara did a pretty good impression of Ava, and the agent was visibly uncomfortable and ashamed because her mistake wouldn't be unheard. "So let's have it. Who are we facing?" Sara asked.

"That information is need-to-know." Ava replied. "All you need to know is that you and your ridiculous team could never handle it." 

Agent Sharpe walked away, pleased with her last words. 

Sara was determined to learn the truth one way or another. She decided to let it slide, for now.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" She asked. Ava turned around. "Gary?" Sara reminded her.

_Ugh, Gary. Why do I always have to babysit Gary?_

The trip to Ava's house was faster than previous times. She didn't stop at the Bureau to work on a report after-hours. Ava wasn't feeling like Agent Sharpe, and that had never happened before. She suddenly found herself unstable and felt all these unusual… feelings. 

She decided to sleep it off, but once that door was open, it wouldn't be that easy to close.


	3. The one where they take control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episodes 3x03 - 3x04 - 3x05

One week passed by.

Even though agent Sharpe was unusually distracted, no one at the Bureau was too concerned. 

Except for Rip. He watched Ava closely, almost as surprised as her by the subtle changes.

* * *

On the Waverider, Sara was also unstable. She had been faced with a mirror that showed some parts of her she never looks at. But instead of letting that interfere with her goals, the captain had been gathering her troubled feelings, putting them in a box, and then closing the box.

Her mind needed to focus on being smarter than the Time Bureau. Proving that they were wrong underestimating the Legends. She pushed her thoughts and actions in that direction.  _ My team will not be remembered as "the ones who broke time." _

That's one of the reasons why Sara was monitoring the Time Bureau communications when she intercepted a distress call from Gary Green, the Time Bureau agent. Apparently he was in Seattle in 2042, and he was in trouble with a meta-human.

Jax and Mick didn't understand why Sara wanted to go and help Gary, and to be honest, Sara didn't quite understand either. But it was the Legends' job to help people, even if they were part of the Bureau.

The Legends found Gary hiding but he was not pleased to see them.

"No, no, no, no, no, she's gonna kill me." He said.

"The chick from your distress call?" Jax asked.

"Agent Sharpe." Gary replied. "She hates you, guys."

Sara rolled her eyes. "Well, feeling's mutual." She said.

Threatened by Mick Rory, Gary told them about the meta-human the Bureau was after because she was travelling through time without authorisation. Gary also showed them the video he recorded, where the Legends saw the water woman was hoping to find someone in the back of the van she attacked.

The prisoner had escaped, though. And the Legends were determined to find her before the meta-human could.

Gideon was able to project the prisoner's most likely destination so the team got there in a heartbeat. Her name was Zari Tomaz.

Her encounter with the Legends was not a pleasant one, as an A.R.G.U.S. drone quickly found them and scanned their faces. Before hacking the technology and escaping, Zari told the Legends that meta-humans were illegal in 2042 and they were in danger.

Their second encounter resulted in a bar fight where the team protected Zari from the assassin. They managed to escort her safely to the ship.

Gary was also on the ship, and Sara was keeping him there on purpose. She was waiting for Ava to show up. 

And somehow, she was thinking of her as "Ava" and not "Agent Sharpe"  _ Dammit _ . 

The box of feelings the captain carefully had closed in her head was opening all the time. She took a moment to make sense of it. 

Sara's life was written in some files at the Time Bureau. Ava had read these files, probably multiple times, so she knew Sara very well. And she hated her.  _ Yeah okay, that's what anyone would feel after knowing me completely. I did some good stuff, but that could never take back the bad stuff I've done. _

Sara felt a punch in her stomach. She really wasn't used to taking time for feelings, especially feelings towards herself. So she went back to Ava's perspective.

Agent Sharpe knew everything about her. But still… when they interacted she looked surprised, confused, lost balance.  _ Why? _

Unless Sara wasn't everything that is written in those files. She might be something else, something Ava could see, she might be  _ more _ .

The captain of the Waverider couldn't stop thinking about it, she needed to see Ava again, find out if she was right. This is why Ava Sharpe was so…  _ annoying!  _ Atractive.

* * *

The box of feelings was firmly closed again, but after the prison break Zari organized to steal a totem, Gary getting on her nerves, Nate on drugs, and Amaya in the med bay… Sara was trying so hard not to lose her mind. She was glad that at least whenever she said "Gideon" out loud, the AI would come to help.

As if that was not too much to handle for the captain, Ray called for backup. He had found Zari and they were being attacked by the water woman. 

An alarm set off in the Waverider before the Legends could go to the rescue.

"Unidentified ship approaching, Captain." Gideon informed.

"A.R.G.U.S?"

"No, captain. It's the Time Bureau."

_ Yes! She found us! But dammit, she should have come alone. _

"I don't understand." Sara said. "How did the Time Bureau know where we were?" She turned to Gary, angry. "Gary."

"I'm sorry, I know you said you can handle it, but you guys can't handle anything." He said. "I should go." Gary used his time courier to open a portal and run away.

Sara grunted, exhausted.

"Sara Lance." Ava's voice called her name from the screen at the bridge. "I see that you and your team have managed to get yourselves in over your heads? Again?" 

Sara shook her head, looking at the screen. Nothing was going as she had planned today, she felt very pissed off.

"When are you going to learn that the Legends should not be interfering with Bureau affairs?" Agent Sharpe asked.

"Maybe when you stop screwing things up." Sara answered. There it was again, Ava was taken aback. "I don't care what Gary says," Sara continued. "We don't need backup."

Just in that moment, Ray asked for backup through the comms.  _ Ugh, timing, Ray! _

"Interesting. Seems like one of your teammates has stumbled sideways in finding our assassin." Ava said.

"Yes, that's our style." Stein said.

"Just give us his coordinates, we'd be happy to save him for you." Ava smiled.

Jax reminded Sara that the Time Bureau would most probably leave Zari to A.R.G.U.S. and she'd end up in prison, simply because of her religion or her totem.

"And if you don't comply, we would also be happy to scatter you all into space." Ava said. She was nervous again and it was evident this made her feel angry. 

She pressed some buttons on her controls. The big ship belonging to the Time Bureau fired, and the Waverider was hit.

"Did you just shoot at us!?" Sara said. 

Ava struggled a bit to keep her cool at Sara's anger. "I am not screwing around. Give us those coordinates. The next one will not be a warning, miss Lance."

Stein suggested that Sara should comply. Sara sighed. "Fine." She said. "I'll uplink their coordinates to you now."

Ava let go the breath she didn't know she was holding.  _ Phew, that was close. She's not supposed to be unpredictable like this _ . 

"Ready?" Sara asked.

"Ready to receive." Gary said. 

But instead of sending the coordinates, the captain of the Waverider turned on the engines at full speed.

Agent Sharpe was taken aback once again. She didn't understand how Sara Lance kept doing all the things she didn't expect her to do. 

She was the boss though, and that meant she needed to take control of the situation. 

"Whoa… they're gone." Gary said.

"I can see that, Gary!" Ava replied. "Track their signature and follow them."

Gary did as instructed and then the Bureau was quickly catching up the Waverider. They were shooting at them and Sara was zigzagging avoiding most of the shots. Not all of them though.

Gideon informed that the Waverider would suffer critical damage in four minutes. 

Sara had to make a choice. But she needed more time. Sara instructed the Legends to go get Ray and Zari using the Jumpship, while she kept the Time Bureau busy.

Stein and Nate stayed with her. The latter was still high on drugs after helping Amaya go through a spiritual journey. The other was advising her to compromise.

"Sorry, Martin, I don't compromise." She said.

But Gideon was informing more and more damage on the ship.

_ Well, you wanted to face her again, right? There you go.  _ She instructed Gideon to divert the energy to the forward shield and then turned the ship around.

"Gideon, hail the Time Bureau." Sara ordered.

Agent Sharpe was on her screen a second later. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Being true to who we are. My team doesn't roll over on their own."

"Zari Tomaz is not one of your own." Ava replied.

"Either way, we're not gonna let you, A.R.G.U.S. or anyone else put her behind bars for who she is." Sara said.

"So you'd rather kill your team and mine?"  _ This woman is crazy. _

"Collision in ten seconds, captain." Gideon said.

"Last chance, miss Lance." Ava said.

"Sara, this is madness." Stein said.

All Sara could hear was her heartbeat. It was accelerating together with the ship's speed.

Her eyes were fixed on the screen, not the ship in front of her.  _ Nothing else had gone well today, at least this part has to.  _

"Change your course!" Ava demanded. 

"I'm good." Sara replied sounded calmer than she really was.

The ships were getting closer, very fast. Sara braced herself.

"Impact in 3...2...1…" Gideon informed.

Agent Sharpe closed her eyes and hit the time-jump button in the last second. Her ship jumped away.

_ Damn!  _ Ava grunted.

Gary was babbling some nonsense in the background.

"Not now, Gary!" She said.

She rubbed her hands over her face and then made a gesture of frustration strangling the air in front of her. Agent Sharpe had lost the Legends, she had never failed a mission before they arrived.

Meanwhile, on the Waverider, Sara could breathe again as well. She instructed Gideon to make sure the Bureau wasn't following them, and took a moment to calm down. The ship was going to get fixed, all the Legends were safe, and hopefully the Time Bureau wasn't going to be hunting them any time soon.

* * *

"Alright Gideon, how are we doing?" Sara asked two hours later.

"Our time jump from Jannah remained undetected, captain." Gideon informed. "I think I can safely say our Time Bureau problem is… oh, bollocks! Perhaps I spoke too soon."

"What is it?" Sara asked.

"Incoming transmission from Agent Sharpe."

Sara sighed and walked from the bridge to the parlor. "Put her on." She ordered.

"Oh! Hey, Ava!" Sara greeted the screen, leaning on the desk behind her. "How was your day?" She asked, her expression turning serious.

"You do realize that little stunt of yours could have destroyed us both?" Ava said.

"You tried to kill us first."

"No, I tried to warn you first. But you don't take warnings, do you?"

"Now you're starting to get it." Sara said smiling.

"Well this isn't a warning, it's a promise." Ava said. "If I  _ ever  _ track you down again, you and your band of idiots will be exiled to the dawn of time. Whatever leniency Hunter gave you, it's over." And she ended the call quickly, before Sara could have the chance to make her lose her balance again.

"What a bitch." Gideon said.

Sara smiled and sighed. "You took the words right out of my mouth, Gideon." She said.  _ But I can't wait until she tracks us down again. _

* * *

A couple of days later, she found herself wishing it was the Time Bureau tracking them down instead of an angry Dominator mum.

And a week later she wished it was Ava asking for help, instead of Rip.

They had traveled to 1895 London in search of a vampire from the future.

Rip told the Legends about Mallus, a threat he had been working against since he created the Time Bureau five years ago. He believes Mallus is recruiting allies through time, but the Bureau doesn't think that crazy theory is a priority.

"Look, sweetie. We would love to take you back, but we don't know how we could trust you  _ again _ ." Sara said. Rip had been on and off the team more times than she could count with one hand, he usually served his own purposes.

Rip thought for a moment and then offered to get the Time Bureau away from the Legends' business in exchange for their help.

Sara accepted. 

Deep down she knew that wasn't going to happen, she knew better than to trust Rip again.

Instead, Sara decided to notify the Bureau and make a deal with  _ them _ .

As she didn't have the time or energy for bickering and being questioned, the captain made a quick video explaining the deal and the conditions, to be sent to Ava by Gideon.

After that, the Legends started their mission.

But of course, their cover was blown soon enough, by Damien Darhk's daughter. 

Sara saw the corpse of Damien Darhk and she felt so many things at once. Surprise, anger, disgust, pain,... That man had killed her sister. And knowing now that Mallus wanted him resurrected…  _ He can't. I have to make sure that doesn't happen. I can't deal with Darhk again. _

But Rip didn't want to take care of that. If they dealt with Darhk now, Mallus would probably never come _.  _ Rip only cared about Mallus.  _ Predictable. _

The Legends had Sara's back, of course.  _ She _ was the captain.

So she requested a private talk with Rip.

"I'm not letting Damien Darhk come back to life. Full stop." Sara said.

"You've lost perspective. You're letting personal prejudice carve your judgement." Rip replied.

"If I had, I wouldn't have put Damien Darhk back in the timeline and erased his memory so that he could  _ kill my sister... _ again."

"Listen Sara… I understand how perilous it would be for mister Darhk to return-"

"Do you?" Sara interrupted. "Because I'm the only one in this room that's been resurrected, and it wasn't an improvement." 

"Right. You're right." Rip conceded. "You've got to understand, Sara, that I've been chasing Mallus for so long that… perhaps it is I who've lost perspective."

Sara looked at him, she remembered all the times Rip had lost perspective in the past, driven by his obsessions. _The same old Rip Hunter._ _I almost pity him._

They parted ways without another word.

And the same old Rip Hunter gave Gideon a command so the Waverider was put on lockdown while he walked away to meet Mallus at the ceremony of resurrection. 

Sara quickly asked Gideon to override Rip's orders and ready the ship to take off. 

They set course towards the building where the ceremony was about to happen, and while flying there Sara ordered Jax to target the cargo bay with the missiles, as it was the only way to get the ship open for them.

Meanwhile, Rip interrupted the resurrection ceremony pointing a gun at Damien Darhk's daughter. A portal opened and twenty agents from the Time Bureau walked out to join Rip. Damien Darhk was resurrected with the power of the red moon, and a big fight started. The Legends arrived to join the fight but it was a short one. Damien and Nora escaped using a time stone, leaving a tragic scene behind them.

Some time later, Sara found Rip Hunter in the parlor of the Waverider.

"We need to talk." She said, arms crossed.

"By now you know me better than to expect an apology." 

"Agents are dead because of you."

"They understood the risks of their profession." 

Sara looked at him incredulously.

"But we learnt so much from the events of last night." Rip said. "Next time-"

"There won't be a next time, Rip." Sara said. "You show up out of nowhere, practically begging for our help, and then you betray us. You've gone rogue from every organization that you've ever been a part of. 'Cause you don't trust anyone. I don't know how I could've ever trusted you."

"But Sara, I need you with me now more than ever." Rip started begging.

"Do you remember when you told me that you had nothing left to teach me?" Sara asked. "Guess you had one final lesson."

In that moment a portal opened behind Rip, letting Agent Sharpe, Director Bennet and a third agent of the Time Bureau inside the ship. "How to be a cold son of a bitch." Sara finished. Then she leaned on the desk and watched as Director Bennet told Rip he was under arrest, and how he tried to get agent Sharpe to help him.

"Agent Sharpe" he said, imploring. But Ava only shook her head and walked over to Sara. There was a new connection between both women now. They both had trusted Rip Hunter and we're now contemplating their mistake with sorrow.

"Thank you for notifying us of Director Hunter's whereabouts." Ava said.

"Now the Legends are free to fly the skies?" 

"Affirmative." Ava assured Sara. There was peace, for a split of a second. "The Time Bureau has bigger things to worry about than a bunch of idiots." She added, sending the peaceful moment to hell. 

It felt different, though. There was a new sensation of respect between Ava and Sara.


	4. The one with Alex Danvers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers Crisis on Earth-X

The wedding celebrated by Iris and Barry Allen brought Sara and some other Legends to Central City.

It was a good excuse to hang the costumes for a while, just relax, drink and enjoy the company of friends.

For Sara it was also a good excuse to put her mind elsewhere, preferably on a lady. One who wasn't as annoying as Ava Sharpe.

The first thing Sara did after parking the Waverider in a safe place, was to get a hotel room. This was going to be a perfect day off, away from the time traveling nonsense, away from her responsibilities, with a private bathroom. Sara was so happy to be able to relax and enjoy.

She started to regret it the moment she set foot at the reception. Wherever she looked there were hugs, smiles, love… Sara loved love, but she found herself wishing it would be within her, and not surrounding her.

Sara immediately shook her head to push the thoughts away. She sadly wasn't made for a normal life with a partner who would love her and live happily ever after.

She looked over to the bar and saw a gorgeous woman drinking alone. 

"Somebody who drinks like that is looking to make something go away." Sara said when she got next to Alex Danvers, Supergirl's sister.

Sara, who was also trying to make something go away, poured herself a drink too.

"Yeah…" Alex said. She coughed uncomfortably and then watched as Sara emptied her glass in a second. "What are _you_ looking to make go away?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. I just like the taste of scotch." 

"Fair enough." Alex accepted. "I just called off my engagement." Both got ready for another drink. "So being here, it brings up a lot."

"What, did you catch him cheating?"

"Her." Alex corrected. "It wasn't anything like that, we just wanted different things, you know. Wish I'd realized that sooner… like right before later came around."

"So let me guess…" Sara said, pouring them yet another drink. "Being at the rehearsals dinner for the world's most perfect couple is probably the last place that you wanna be."

"That stings a little, yeah." 

Sara raised her glass with a smile. She understood Alex just too well, even though she would never admit that.

"To making things go away." Sara said.

"To loving the taste of scotch." 

They clinked their glasses together and drank up.

And after that one came another and another. The next thing Sara remembers was kissing Alex passionately outside the building before taking the brunette to a hotel in Central City and everything else was blurry, but good. She needed a night of sex with a beautiful, smart and strong woman to let go all the tension she had been carrying with her. 

In the morning she heard Alex fall off the bed, and turned around to keep on sleeping. She wasn't ready for the hangover yet, she wasn't ready to have responsibilities again, or being surrounded by all that love.

When it was time to get to the church for the wedding Sara saw Alex and Kara outside and decided to keep playing sassy loose Sara Lance, who wasn't making a big deal about anything in life… and then she realized Alex was very nervous to see her so the blonde playfully mentioned her butt probably hurting from falling out of bed, and then walked into the church.

As much as Sara would like to think only "normal" people get their happy ending, she was soon reminded that her friends were not the so-called "normal". And superheroes find enemies wherever they go. 

The interruption of the ceremony by a group of nazis brought the people in the church back to this reality.

Without a second thought, all the heroes jumped from their seats. Alex and Sara ripped their dresses to have full use of their kicking, running and fighting skills. 

Their chemistry was good, they made a good team fighting together, just like Ava and Sara did. _There you go, thinking about Ava again._

* * *

Sara and Alex met again outside the elevator, once the heroes retreated to Star labs. Alex was acting weird, and Sara was starting to feel uncomfortable. Both women were dealing with their own doubts and insecurities. Alex was wondering if she was wrong when she chose to let Maggie go. Sara was wondering if she should give herself a chance with someone. One thing was clear: either if it was about taking a step back or a step forward, they needed that little push to start moving.

Meanwhile, the team tracked down the nazis and they held a huge fight. It was an extremely hard fight because the nazis had a speedster, an Oliver and a Kara, from Earth-X. Kara X, also known as Overgirl, almost choked Sara in the middle of the fight. 

When it finally seemed to be over, the robot called Metallo jumped to the scene and attacked Supergirl with Kryptonite. The rest of the team was also attacked, thrown to the floor and separated. 

Exhausted and bruised, they all woke up several minutes later, chained together, handcuffed and wearing some kind of dog collars.

Overgirl was visibly in pain and the team heard the nazis plan on killing Supergirl and implanting her healthy heart in the dying Kara X. 

"You stay the hell away from my sister" Alex said. 

Metallo fired kryptonite at them once again, and this time they woke up in a concentration camp, still handcuffed and wearing the collars.

"Where's Kara? They're gonna kill her"

"It's okay, we're gonna get her back" Sara assured Alex.

Alex, Sara, Jax, Martin, Oliver and Barry were on Earth-X.

They looked around, and couldn't believe a place like this existed, on any Earth. The prisoners were wearing badges in different shapes and colors to identify them by the crimes they've committed.

Jax asked one man what the pink triangle was for, "What did you do?"

"I love the wrong person." He replied.

Alex and Sara shared a meaningful, concerned look.

"We gotta get out of these things. Transmute us out" Sara told Stein, showing her handcuffs. 

"With pleasure" Martin said. But Firestorm didn't work, because of the collars.

Alex couldn't stop thinking about Kara. "They're gonna kill my sister."

"We're not gonna let that happen Alex, I promise you." Sara said.

Suddenly, sirens went off and the prisoners hurried to the back of the cage. The heroes didn't know what was going on. The man Jax had previously spoken to, stood near them and told them it was roundup time. Soldiers walked inside the cage, followed by their leader.

"So these are the heroes."

The general looked like Sara's dad.

He stared at her intently.

"Blond hair, blue eyes, it's nordic perfection. Why would you align yourself with the impure?" He said.

"Because I like men... And I like women." She answered simply.

"You know, I had a daughter who looked just like you. With similar compulsions." He said "And I expelled her from my family line forever"

The man's last words were so violent that Sara stood frozen, in deep thought. The Sara Lance from Earth X had apparently lived through hell…And very, very lonely.

"Bring them all. And him!" The man ordered.

Alex waited for Sara to react before starting to walk side by side. Sara felt so grateful for the company.

Walking out of the cage, the heroes were led to an open space. They made signs with their hands showing how many soldiers they were going to take down, and then all at once they turned around to face the soldiers. The general was expecting it though, so he quickly pressed a button and the collars gave electric shocks that ran down the heroes' bodies.

After the failed escape they kept walking and then turned around next to a pit. Side by side, the heroes waited to be executed.

"I'm sorry, Kara" Alex whispered to herself.

Sara heard it and thought about her other self one more time. The Sara Lance from Earth X, whose father hated so much, who was probably killed at that very same spot. The Sara Lance whose only crime was to love men and also love women. _I'm sorry, Sara_.

At the very last second before the execution, the X version of Leonard Snart showed up with his cold ice gun. They took advantage of the distraction to run and take cover. Leo took off the mysterious man's collar and he literally lit up, shining bright like the sun. He was The Ray, a meta-human from Earth one who was now living in Earth X, as part of the resistance against the nazis regime. After Ray dispersed the soldiers, he and the heroes went to the Freedom Fighters' base.

The Freedom Fighters told Sara and the rest of the team that there was a gateway to go back to Earth one but their leader wanted to blow it up because it belonged to the nazis. Alex knew the other version of Winn from Earth one, so she tried to convince him to give the heroes enough time to go through the gateway before blowing it up. He refused to do so, leaving Alex alone and desperate.

She was looking for something when Sara found her.

"What are you doing?"

Alex gazed at the blonde "I'm looking for a gun, or a knife, anything."

Sara walked closer to the brunette.

Alex wanted to go save Kara, even if she had to go alone. Understanding, Sara said Alex was impressive but still couldn't fight a way through an army of nazis alone and scared.

"I'm not scared"

"No, not for you. For your sister"

_She thinks she should have done more._

"I should have done more." Alex said, echoing Sara's thoughts. "I mean if I hadn't gotten so… distracted." She gestured towards Sara.

"Well, sorry to be a distraction" Sara said smirking.

"You don't understand. I can't lose her." Alex's voice broke.

"I understand more than you think" Sara walked over to Alex.

The brunette sighed trying to calm down.

"I lost my sister." Sara said, with tears in her eyes. "The anger and guilt that I felt for not being able to save her... Took me down a dark path."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know"

"How could you? I mean the only thing we know about each other is what we look like with clothes off..." And she added, "Beautiful, by the way."

Locking her eyes with Alex's she continued. "You also don't know that I protect my team. And you, Danvers, you're on my team. And I promise you, we're not gonna let what happened to my sister happen to yours." That seemed to be too much for Alex to handle, she got visibly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. I just wanna... I wanna save Kara and I wanna get back to Maggie." Alex said.

"Maggie is..."

"Complicated"

"Yeah. I had a Maggie too. And I think about going back to her all the time." Sara said, surprising herself with this confession. "Look Alex, you seem like a pretty thoughtful person. And if you thought it wasn't gonna work out and had to end it, I'm sure your reason was valid. Trust your instincts."

* * *

After some thought Winn allowed the mission. He would still blow the gateway up but he would give them enough time to go through it. They had one hour.

The heroes got inside the building, there was fighting and guns and bullets everywhere. What they had to do was reach the controls to open the gateway, before the time was up. Martin Stein took his chances, ran towards it and got shot. He didn't stay down though. As soon as he recovered from the shock, feeling extreme pain, he crawled to reach the controls and opened the gateway. He became Firestorm with Jax so they could move him and they all went through the gateway back to Earth one.

The Legends had arrived to the rescue at Star labs, so they took Stein to the Med Bay on the Waverider for Gideon to heal his wound… But there is nothing she can do. Martin Stein died as a hero. Or better said, he died as a Legend.

The nazis had escaped after a fight, using their own Waverider. So the heroes got on the Legends' Waverider to track them.

All the Legends were deeply sad about Martin's death.

"How are you holding up?" Oliver asked Sara.

"I'll cry at the funeral" Sara replied.

She felt awful, she wanted to cry right there, she wanted to be held by her friend Oliver and cry her heart out in that very same spot. But she couldn't. She shouldn't. Sara Lance was the captain of the Legends, she needed to stand strong for the rest of the team. Her family. She needed to make sure Martin didn't die for nothing.

"For the professor!" She said, before taking the ship to Star City. There the heroes fought against the nazis once again, their motivation higher than ever. And they won.

* * *

Some time later, at Martin's funeral, Sara told him "Thank you for believing in me."

And after that, she said goodbye to everyone. Alex was the last one. They were walking side by side at the park.

"So, you're going to another earth and I'm going to another time." Sara said.

"That's kinda how we roll, huh?"

"Totally normal"

"Yeah"

They stopped their tracks, unsure. "Should we.." they started at the same time. This made them laugh, and they hugged.

"Thank you for putting things in perspective for me" Alex said.

"Does that mean you're gonna take my advice on Maggie?"

"Yes, I'm gonna trust my instincts. I mean there's gotta be somebody else out there for me, right?"

"For sure"

"Just like there's somebody else out there for you. And for more than just a night"

"It's funny. That was my takeaway too"


	5. The one with good weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fills in events before 3x09

Ava's mental process was still going on. She was still trying to figure out how to manage feelings. She had never experienced any lack of control before. Everything had always been so clear to her…

Ava could remember past moments in her life where she had felt anger, happiness, fear or sadness. Yet she found herself wondering why this time all those feelings felt stronger than she could remember. 

At first these thoughts scared her but now they just made her curious. And being curious felt good.

Ava couldn't remember any moment in her life where she had allowed herself to feel curious and explore that curiosity. 

The Time Bureau agent was pretty sure Sara Lance and her team were to blame for this sudden bloom of emotions in her. They had absolutely pulled Ava to the edge of the rope.  _ But it isn't just that, is it?  _ All this time she had thought Sara Lance was an open book. A book that wasn't worth reading, but one she had to study in order to do her job. Now she realized Sara was much more than that… and very attractive.

Ava had been attracted to women ever since she could remember. She had one girlfriend but things didn't work out in the end… she couldn't really remember the details and maybe that was for the best. But her ex had never made her feel so full of emotions like Sara did.

She shook her head and bit her lip repressing a smile. The weather was very good in Washington DC that morning so Ava was walking to work. 

While lost in thought she let the sun caress her face soothingly and gladly let the warm breeze play with her long blond hair.

The breeze also brought voices to her ears. She looked to the right and found the source. It was a pretty little cafe with a few tables outside and some people chatting happily enjoying their coffee.

Ava had walked to work several times before, but she had never paid attention to what was around her. Maybe her newly discovered curiosity was making her notice now.

One glance at her watch told her there was enough time, and a minute later she walked out of the cafe holding a latte for the rest of the way.

Once Ava got to the Time Bureau headquarters, she wanted to use the mirrors in the elevator to tie up her hair, as she usually did. Something stopped her this time. She took some time to look at her reflection.  _ Maybe I should keep my hair down today. _

As if responding to that single action, the rest of the agents approached Ava differently that day. Apparently she gave away the impression of loosening up.

She admittedly felt surprised and out of her comfort zone, but resisted the urge to go and tie her hair up. She wouldn't go to her corner this time, she would stay out there and keep digging out these new feelings because her curiosity was in charge.

After the long day of work, Ava's point of view on this matter turned a little less positive, giving space to doubts and fear. While walking back home she thought about her life. It had been a good one, keeping control of everything possible. She had a nice childhood out of trouble, a very good education, an amazing job she loved… the feelings were so far away though, she could remember them but she couldn't bring them back.  _ All this digging, all this new explorer attitude… is it worth it? Am I broken or something? Maybe I'm going crazy… Should I worry? Should I go back to my comfort zone forever?  _ And so Ava's thoughts blended in her mind when she decided to make another unusual stop.

Southwest Duck Pond was a beautiful park that she found in an old memory. The sunset light and warm breeze hitting the water instantly made her feel at ease.

She sat on a bench, her hands inside the pockets of her jacket, and looked around.

She saw a couple walking their dog, an old man walking by the water, and a woman with a little kid approaching her.

The woman sat on a bench a few meters away from Ava, and the little boy was calling the ducks excitedly.

"I think they don't understand you, honey." The woman said in a sweet tone.

"But mum, I wanna be friends!" 

He stood there, watching the ducks keep their distance. That's when Ava noticed he had half a package of crackers in his hand. In a blink of an eye he emptied the package on the ground calling the attention of the ducks.

The little boy was very happy surrounded by the hungry ducks who were now his friends. Ava chuckled in sympathy.

"Look at that! You don't have any crackers left to eat now!" His mum said dramatically, but smiling brightly.

"It was worth it!" He replied.


	6. The one where they click

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episode 3x09

Leo Snart, from Earth-X, had decided to join the Legends for a while. He thought he could be useful, considering his other self was a valuable member of the team in the past. 

Leo had spent all day as a therapist, trying to help the team process the death of Martin Stein in a healthy way. It wasn't really going well.

"Alright everybody, I know you're sad so this is what we're gonna do." Sara said, walking into the Parlor where the rest of the Legends were already gathered. "I want you to take all of your feelings about Martin, and put it in a box. And then, I want you to close the box… And then you're gonna lock the box."

"Well that sounds healthy." Leo said with irony.

"Maybe not, but we got a job to do. Gideon, the anachronism please."

Gideon had detected an anachronism level 12. Apparently the vikings conquered North America in the past, changing the course of history. The territory was now called New Valhalla.

"Alright, let's go." Sara said.

Leo stopped the captain and said, "I don't think the Legends are ready for the field."

"Listen Leo, kicking ass is how we heal." Sara replied. And with that, the Legends went to the year 1000.

It took them only a few minutes to find out the Vikings had a prisoner. He was, ironically, the younger version of Martin Stein. He recognized the Legends from a previous mission the year before and followed them to the Waverider.

In the safety of the ship, the team discovered that they hadn't solved the problem yet. Turns out the anachronism is Beebo himself. The little cuddly toy. Martin had just bought it when he was displaced in time, and now the Vikings believed Beebo was a God who wanted them to conquer the New World.

Ray and Nate worked together with Sara building a plan to get Beebo away from the Vikings. They found out it was Christmas Day, before the Christians called it Christmas Day. 

It meant the Vikings were having a feast to celebrate and it was the perfect cover for the Legends to join in.

While figuring out the details of the plan, the conversation was interrupted by a call Gideon announced.

"Incoming transmission from Agent Sharpe."

_ I was wondering when I would hear from her again. _ "Put her on." Sara said.

She watched Ava appear on the screen. She was smiling and was wearing her hair down, falling gracefully over her shoulder.

"Agent Sharpe. It's been a while, thankfully." Sara said.

"Captain Lance."

"Let me guess. You saw that there's a level 12 anachronism and you're calling to lecture me on everything that we're doing wrong."

"No." Ava said. But then Sara stared at her in a way that made her say, "Okay, yes." Sara's eyes unlocked from hers and both women looked away awkwardly uncomfortable. Something had shifted between them since the last time they spoke.

"But I also heard about Martin Stein and I'm calling to express my condolences." Ava continued.

"Well thank you, but my team and I… we have it under control."

"I hope so. Because the Legends fixing a level 12 under normal circumstances would be a Beebo Day miracle." 

Sara's alarms went off in her head.

"Did you just say Beebo Day?"

"December 25th, Beebo Day. When families exchange gifts and sing silly songs and discover that they can no longer live under the same roof..." Ava answered. After a pause she realized. "Beebo Day is part of the anachronism, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Sara whispered.

"Yeah, never felt right." 

"This anachronism is cementing fast. And to be honest, my team's still pretty raw from losing Stein… We could… use… an outside perspective." Sara said, and found Ava's eyes again.

"Are you asking for my help?" 

"No!" Sara lied. Ava arched her eyebrows. "Okay, yes."

Ava was so ready for this. It took her a second to open a portal to the Waverider with her time courier and step out of it behind Sara.

"Alright. What's the plan?" She said smiling. And this time, the captain couldn't help mirroring her expression.

* * *

Some time later, the Legends and Ava Sharpe joined the celebration disguised as Vikings. The plan was finding Beebo and sneaking it away from the Vikings as soon and peacefully as possible. 

Soon after they arrived, the Legends were mixing pretty well in the celebrations. There was a lot of food and alcohol.

"As far as strategy goes this would've not been my first pick." Ava told Sara.

"Why not? They welcomed us in, we get Beebo, we get out." Sara said.

"The Bureau has rules about fraternizing with the locals and these costumes are ridiculous."

Sara quickly let her gaze wander down Ava's body. "Nah, you look good." She said.  _ You would look good wearing anything. _

Ava hadn't expected to hear a compliment from Sara. Flushing a little, she smiled and looked down at her costume with content.

Amaya made a gesture to call their attention, from the other side of the room. She pointed at two men happily drinking at the table. Sara smirked and guided Ava towards them.

"Well hello, folks." She said. "Can we join you?" Ava and her sat at the table in front of the men, who nodded excitedly. They offered each woman a horn to drink and poured some alcohol inside them.

Sara emptied her glass in one go, while Ava looked at her wondering what she was planning. The men seemed surprised and filled her glass again.

"Here's the deal." Sara started. "There's a funny drinking game where we come from. If we beat you at it, you'll show us your powerful blue god." She lifted her glass.

Of course both men accepted the challenge and the four of them started drinking. 

Ava finished her drink as fast as Sara had previously done it.

"You know that this goes against every validation of the Time Bureau's code of conduct." Ava said.

"Yeah. But it's so fun." Sara whispered.

"Is it?"

They got their glasses filled again. The drinking went on for quite a while and the Vikings were really impressed because Ava and Sara could drink a lot. Their interest certainly increased.

"Tell us, which of these clansmen are your husband's?" One of them asked. "And we'll kill them."

"Oh." Ava said. "I'm not really the husband kind."

Sara looked at her, surprised and curious.  _ What does that mean? Agent Ava Sharpe is a lesbian? _ She smirked.

The man laughed and exclaimed, "Perfect! Me neither!"

It was probably time to stop the game right there. "Alright! You guys said that if we won you'd take us to see your blue god." Sara said. There was a little pause filled with expectation.

"Two out of three!" The man said.

Sara and Ava growled in exasperation and ducked their heads. Before they could decide what to do next, something called everyone's attention. Some of the Vikings had found Mick Rory trying to steal alcohol from their god. Now they wanted to let Beebo decide how to punish him.  _ And there goes our plan _ . Sara thought.

The Vikings followed Beebo's orders: "Beebo hungry!" They took Mick to the pyre. 

"Nate and Amaya are on Beebo. Everyone else, let's make sure Rory isn't burnt alive." Sara instructed through the coms.

It wasn't until they got to the fatal place that Sara had an idea. "Leo, can you take care of the fire?" She said.

"Thought you said this was an undercover operation." Ava said.

"Well, blowing your cover is half the fun." Sara replied, smiling.

Ava's mind was thinking very fast. If this was an operation handled by the Time Bureau she would have had a very clear backup plan to follow.

Just at the last second, Leo used his cold gun on the flames so they wouldn't touch Rory. Confusion and silence reigned for a few moments among the Vikings.

"It's a sign!" Ava exclaimed suddenly. "Beebo does not want our clansmen to be burned!" Way out of her comfort zone, she turned to Sara for assurance. Sara nodded in approval.

"Beebo has shown merci." Ray said.

It would have worked if Beebo had stayed quiet. But Amaya accidentally squeezed him and Beebo said, "I lo-lo-love you."

All eyes turned toward them. The Vikings realized the Legends were trying to sneak away, taking Beebo with them. And they got angry.

Vikings and Legends drew their swords and prepared to fight.

Once again, Sara and Ava noticed their amazing dynamic when fighting side by side. Just one gaze or a simple gesture would tell the other all she needed to know. Duck, run, block, swing, help… and when they lost their swords they tackled.

The place had become a football field where Beebo was the ball, until Mick used his gun against the blue god, burning it down in the middle of the battlefield.

Having lost their god, the Vikings decided to retreat.

"Well, looks like the Legends have saved Odin Day." Ava said.

"Odin Day?" Amaya asked. "Don't you mean Christmas?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Oh, I thought we fixed the anachronism." Sara lamented.

The anachronism was, in fact, far from being over. Damien Darhk and his daughter Nora materialized with a lightning. They were disguised as Vikings gods.

They promised to lead their people into battle. The Legends, being outmatched, decided to retreat.

As desperate as they were about the anachronism spiralling out of control, Sara asked Ava to call the Time Bureau for backup. 

Several minutes later, Sara met Ava at the Parlor. Ava's face looked conflicted.

"Please, tell me you have good news." Sara said.

"I'm afraid Director Bennet doesn't believe this mission is the best use of our resources." Ava said.

Sara scowled. "So what. The Time Bureau is just gonna let the Darhks run around and change history?"

Ava darted her gaze away from Sara. "The Time Bureau is in disarray. Ever since Rip was sentenced to prison-"

"Wait. Rip is in prison?"

Ava nodded. "He was hardly convincing at the tribunal, raving about Mallus, completely unapologetic, and in his absence Damien Darhk has recruited even more allies." After that she said, "Gideon, can you pull up what Director Bennet showed me, please?"

Gideon showed them a drawing of Grodd, the giant gorilla, destroying the Great Wall of China. Damien Darhk had seccured him a means to time travel. Sara propped her hips on the desk and Ava did the same next to her. Sara scrubbed her hand on her face, looking defeated.

"Darhk and his daughter are just too powerful. They have magic that we don't understand. We've lost scores of agents trying to fight them." Ava said. 

"So what? What does that mean? That you're just gonna throw in the towel?"

"We can't afford to lose anyone else." 

Their eyes locked. 

"And I can?" Sara asked.

"No I'm-"

"Do you have any idea how hard this has been on us?"

"I really am sorry, Sara." Ava said. It was the first time she called Sara by her name. She had never seen Sara show vulnerability before. It took a strong willpower to unlock her gaze from Sara's beautiful bright blue eyes. For a split of a second, Ava felt the urge to envelop the captain in her arms.

Ava's time courier beeped and she cleared her throat, finally breaking eye contact. "Director Bennet has ordered me to return to the Time Bureau." She said.

"Screw his orders. I need you here."

Ava stopped on her tracks. "Look, I know Darhk is personal for you. And you're the last person to back out of a fight, but you asked me to give you an outside perspective. If you're concerned about the safety of your team, leave Inland. This is not a fight the Legends can win." With that, Agent Ava Sharpe opened a portal to the Time Bureau and left the ship. 

Sara blew out a breath. She didn't usually show vulnerability to anyone. It had been hard enough to ask Ava for help… twice. Sara had been completely honest, she needed Ava. And even after almost begging her to stay, she left. Sara felt the weight of the world on her shoulders again.

* * *

Sara tried to play Cold Captain Lance and make her team leave on the Waverider while she handled the Darhks alone. The thought of losing another Legend under her command was unbearable. Nevertheless, her plan didn't work. The Legends could see behind her fake cold shield. They were family, they cared about her and there was no way they would leave without Sara. If the Darhks were impossible to defeat, like the Bureau thought, then the Legends would die fighting. Together.

Of course, the Legends plan didn't really go as expected. While Zari, Nate and Sara were fighting against Damien AKA Odin, the Vikings outside the lodge were being distracted by a flying Beebo risen from the grave secretly piloted by Ray. Furthermore, Nora Darhk was being surprised by Leo Snart and Mick Rory AKA Captain Cold and Heatwave. Separately, Nora found it easy to overpower them. But together, hot and cold produced an explosion that left Nora unconscious.

Damien Darhk immediately noticed his daughter was being defeated. He stood from his throne, knocked everyone out of his way with his magic, and kneeled next to Nora. He took a time stone from his pocket.

"Not this time." Sara said. She put her hand on Darhk's shoulder. Either she would travel through time with him or she would retain him right there. But there was no way Sara would let him escape again.

In the blink of an eye, the Darhks were gone. Sara found herself in a dark, empty place. There was sand on the floor, and dead trees in the distance.

"Sara Lance." A deep voice called her name. 

"Who's there? Who are you? What is this place?" 

"I am Mallus." The voice came from everywhere around Sara. "Soon I will be free and your world will know an endurable pain." An evil laughter followed.

Sara felt cold creeping up her spine and dark clouds filling her mind.

* * *

Ava stepped on Inland and found the Legends and Vikings laying on the floor. Some were groaning, trying to get up.

She offered a hand to Amaya. "Where is Sara?" Ava asked. Amaya shook her head, confused.

The blonde looked around in concern and saw something out of place. There was a vortex hanging in the air, closing slowly. Without a second thought, she ran towards it and reached inside. She grabbed Sara's collar and pulled her out. The vortex closed behind the captain.

Catching their breath, both women smiled.

"You came back."

"It's like you said. You needed me." Ava said.

"Well, your timing is impeccable."

"It's a Christmas miracle." Ava's smile grew brighter.

"Yes!" Sara said, looking at the sky. The Legends had finally corrected the anachronism. 

Half an hour later, Sara was being medically evaluated by Gideon at the Med Bay. Ava had insisted on her being checked up after Sara had told the team about her experience.

The rest of the team had observed their interactions quite amused and then they had left both women alone.

After the check up Gideon informed that there was nothing physical that should worry Sara.

"Told you, I'm fine." Sara said, taking off the monitoring bracelet.

"You've also told me you visited an alternate dimension." 

"Well it wasn't my first time." Sara stood up from the chair and turned to leave. She was making a huge effort not to show vulnerability in front of Ava again. Usually Sara was the one rescuing people, not the one being rescued.

"Sara." Ava grabbed Sara's arm. "Tell me exactly what you saw in there."

Sara faced Ava and sighed. "I don't know, okay? It wasn't about what I saw, it was about what I felt. As an absence of feeling. No warmth, no love… just a void. And the only thing filling the void was… Mallus."

Ava, whose gaze had been fixed on the floor processing the information, reacted to that name. She searched for Sara's eyes. She looked concerned before, about Sara's health, but now… she looked scared.

"Seems Rip was right to be obsessed with him. I need to tell the Bureau." Ava started to walk away.

"Weren't you afraid of getting in trouble for disobeying orders?" Sara asked. 

Ava stopped and turned, "It was worth it." She said. Memories from the boy at the park came back to her. Just like him, she had made a choice. Blue eyes locked with blue eyes, something that was starting to look like unstoppable magnetism between the two women. They stood there, staring at each other for long seconds. They smiled.

"See you again." Ava said. And she turned to leave.

_ Well, it turned out to be a good birthday.  _ Sara thought.

Something had certainly shifted between them.


	7. The one between hell and heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episodes 3x10 and 3x11

Ever since she met Alex Danvers, Sara's thoughts had been resonating around their conversation. It was undeniable that Sara needed to move on toward something new in the love field. She craved for someone to lean on and be who she really was. The problem she found is she was damaged, needed fixing and didn't really think that she could be a good partner due to her dark past.

On the other hand, her thoughts often traveled to Ava, and she couldn't help wondering if Alex's words "There's somebody else out there for you. And for more than just a night" were predicting her fate with the blonde. 

At this point, Sara had also admitted to herself that she felt attracted to Ava Sharpe since the beginning. She was intelligent, strong, funny, kind and beautiful. Moreover, the gorgeous agent had always shown Sara a reflection of who she was, and that reflection had offered Sara a new perspective, far from the [Sara = Assassin's soul] formula.

A strong debate was taking place inside her head, considering both sides of the scales. The certain dark past vs the probable bright future.

If Sara was honest with herself, she was scared of both, so she decided to keep the debate going for as long as possible. In the meantime, she would do her best to focus on the present.

The present involved John Constantine getting inside the Waverider looking for her. Apparently he was trying to exorcise a girl when the demon spoke the name of Sara Lance. As she was an old friend since John had helped recover Sara's soul after her revival at the Lazarus Pit, he decided to go find Sara and see if she could help him find the demon's name.

"You might know something that can help me save you both." John said.

"I don't need saving. And I am done fighting demons." Sara replied.

Nate, who was listening to their conversation, asked if maybe this had anything to do with the demon the Legends were fighting.

"I was speaking of them metaphorically." Sara said. "But yes, I did recently visit the spirit world. It's a long story but it's probably how the demon knows my name. And the demon's name is Mallus."

"Mallus." John Constantine repeated. It was all he needed to banish the demon out of the girl's body, so he turned to leave.

"Not so fast." Sara stopped him. "You said it yourself, this is not just any demon. And we've been fighting it before you even knew its name. And if this girl's connected to Mallus she might be able to help us destroy him."

It took a bit of bickering, but Sara convinced John to take her with him.

This provided Sara not only a reason to stay focused in the present, but also a chance to spend time with John, who knew her from the darkest of her times. He wouldn't expect her to be more than that.

* * *

"We're receiving a transmition from the Time Bureau. It's agent Sharpe. Or should I call her _Ava_?"

"Just… put her on, Gideon."

Sara had been expecting this call. For the last couple of days, after their collaboration with the Vikings problem, Ava had been calling to keep Sara updated on the Bureau's matters.

"Ava, hi." Sara said. She stood in front of a real size hologram of Ava. "Any progress with Rip?"

"Ugh, not yet." Ava answered with frustration. "I... just wanted to let you know that I'm still waiting to meet with Director Bennet. Unfortunately no one here believes that Rip was right about Mallus being real. I've even been barred from visiting him while he's incarcerated. It's a whole mess of red tape."

"Well if anyone can get through, it is you."

"Thanks. I could use a little encouragement."

"Well I think what we could both use is a glass of wine." Sara said with a smirk.

Ava giggled nervously and played with a strand of her hair. "Yeah." She said. 

Suddenly feeling the undeniable attraction between them, both women shifted uncomfortably. 

"Um, well I'd better go. So I will let you know how things progress! Bye." Ava said quickly, and the hologram vanished.

Ava spent the rest of the evening daydreaming about having a glass of wine with Sara Lance.

"Awww" Leo's voice came from the door to the bridge. 

_How long has he been listening? I was so focused on Ava that I didn't notice him standing there_. "What?." Sara asked. But she knew the answer.

Leo walked towards her.

"First, I apologize for interrupting. Second, that woman clearly has a crush on you."

Sara was nervous. "Just… don't." She warned. Denial was the safest way to avoid disappointment.

"Come, come, captain." Leo continued. "She called you for absolutely no reason. It was just an excuse to talk. To you."

Sara hummed mockingly.

"Gideon, play back that last bit, please."

"Gideon, don't." Sara ordered. Gideon didn't listen to her. Apparently the AI was on Leo's side…

Ava's hologram was back in front of them, the part of the call where she giggled and touched her hair.

"Head down, eyes up, cheeks flushed. Classic courtship signals." Leo said.

"Even if it was, _and it is not,_ we're _completely_ different people." Sara said.

"I don't know, you're both strong women, you're both obsessed with repairing time, you're both… superhot." At Sara's face expression he added, "Gay, not blind."

"Look, Ava is the kind of girl you take home to your parents. And I am the kind you take to an exorcism." 

With that, Sara turned on her heels and left the bridge.

Her mind was a tornado. _Would I take Ava to meet my dad? Would I meet her parents? How would that be like?_ She mentally shook herself. _Exorcism, Sara. Concentrate on the exorcism._

* * *

A few hours later, the Legends discovered that the girl John was trying to save from Mallus was actually Damien Darhk's daughter, Nora. If Sara and John can help her, maybe they'll change the girl's fate and Mallus won't be a threat anymore.

Leo found an adrenaline injection to wake Nora up so John could perform the exorcism.

Mallus was stronger than Constantine had anticipated. He took control of Nora and made her draw a runic symbol on the floor. Light came through it and it made Sara, John and Leo disappear.

The runic symbol had taken them to the same asylum, but on a different time. They were in the year 1969 and had no idea how to go back to their time or let the team know what happened.

The three stranded decided to try a risky move. They would write a message and put it behind a painting on the wall in the room Nora will be exorcised, in the year 2017. Meanwhile, Zari and Ray decided to infiltrate in the asylum in 2017 to find out why Sara was not answering her comms.

Mallus was trying to get to Sara too. And he was succeeding. She heard the demon's voice inside her head, calling her name. She had visions of shadows and specters coming out from the walls.

Mallus was coming for her.

John sent Leo to get the message behind the painting as fast as possible while John stayed with Sara. She felt scared and confused. She couldn't really tell what was real and what was hallucination.

"Stay with me, stay with me." John said. He held Sara by the shoulders.

"What's happening?" She asked.

"It's Mallus' trickery. Fear and gaze using your darkest emotions to prime you for possession."

Sara's visions were unbearable. It was hard for her to breathe.

"He wants you to be afraid. I need you to fight him, Sara." John said. He cupped Sara's face and pronounced some magic words. 

The visions stopped and Sara was able to breath again. And she sighed.

"I thought this was all over. The bloodlust, the fight for my soul, the crap that I've had to endure…"

"Well, there's always more crap to endure. Take it from one who's damned his own soul to hell." John said. At Sara's questioning look, he told her about the story of the little girl he couldn't save. Astra.

"Some might say you should forgive yourself." Sara said.

"Well, if I could then perhaps I wouldn't have the need to save the likes of poor Nora." John replied. "And what about you? Are you forgiving yourself for your sins?"

"I don't deserve forgiveness." Sara's inner debate seemed to have reached a conclusion.

John Constantine helped her get up from the floor where she was sitting. He showed her a card. In it Sara could see a black canary and a white canary, flying.

"What is that?" She asked.

"It's a little reminder that you're a survivor. Strong enough to keep even the most powerful demons at bay."

Sexual tension built up between them. "Are we really this damaged?" Sara asked.

"I certainly hope so." John replied.

They kissed passionately and ended up having sex right there, in an empty room of the asylum, in 1969.

Sara would give it a good thought later. She would come to the conclusion that, after dealing with a demon in her head there was no way she would have thought clearly. She felt like she didn't deserve good things. Her dark past made her who she was. Damaged. And John was also damaged. So yeah, maybe they could enjoy the moment together.

After their time alone, Sara and John found Leo just when he was going to be lobotomized. As the plan with the note and the painting had failed, Sara suggested that they could cast the same spell with the runic symbol to get them back to 2017. John had told her that she was strong enough to hold Mallus, so why not try?

He wasn't happy about it but, there wasn't a better plan.

Constantine cast the spell and Sara found herself in the spirit world again. She started to draw the runic symbol using the sand on the ground.

Suddenly, she stopped. She had heard someone crying in the distance, and when she walked over she saw Nora. Mallus was possessing her at the same time. 

"Look at me, it's not your fault." Sara said. "But now you get to make a choice. You don't have to give in to the darkness, you can fight it. Nora I know… because I fight it every day." This thought spoken out loud started her inner debate once again.

After calming the girl down, Sara hurried back to finish the symbol. Light came through it and took Sara, John and Leo back to 2017.

* * *

Nora had left with Damien Darhk. They couldn't save her. Now she would join a cult, where they would teach her to embrace Mallus and her purpose in life to become the demon's vessel.

The Legends were back on the Waverider.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm fine!?"

"Somehow you managed to channel a demon of the highest order and you didn't succumb." John said.

"Sara's strong. She's the strongest person I know." Amaya said.

Then Zari told the team that when Nora was possessed, Mallus seemed afraid of her totem. It said Zari was one of the six.

Constantine said he would dig more about that and see what he could find. After that, John turned to leave the ship.

Although before leaving, he found Ray Palmer. John advised Ray to keep his anti magic gun nearby because the power of the demon was still inside Sara, and when she succumbs to it, maybe Ray had to use the gun to stop her.

The following hours in the Waverider the air was calm, but a little bittersweet. On Christmas Jax had left them for a different kind of adventure, and so did Leo now. 

Sara hugged him goodbye and walked through the hallways towards her room.

"Gideon, can you give me a line on Ava, please?"

"Yes, captain. Would you like some privacy as well?" Gideon said. She closed the doors to the hallway and called Ava right then and there. Her hologram was right in front of Sara.

"Cheaty bot."

"Captain Lance, I was just about to call you." Ava said.

"Really? I mean, cool. Cause I just wanted to… compare notes, and I thought that maybe if you'd like to come to the ship-"

"There's no time." Ava interrupted her. "I finally got through the Bureau's... red tape, and it seems Director Hunter has escaped."

"What? Where is he?"

"We have no idea."

"Well, how do we find him?" Sara asked.

"I think the only thing we can do is wait until something odd calls our attention in the timeline… Do you think he would try to contact the Legends?"

"Well it is possible, but we didn't part in good terms the last time. I'll let you know if we find something."

"Okay, me too." Ava looked worried but she showed Sara a little smile before finishing the call.

"Wait." Sara said. "Can you… maybe we…" she cleared her throat. "Can I get your number? So we can probably text about this and, you know, avoid the Time Bureau."

Ava's smile widened. "Sure. I'll send you my number. Bye." The call ended. 

Gideon opened the doors again. Sara smiled and sighed in content.

* * *

**[22:02] Sara:** _Hey Ava, it's me. Sara._

**[22:05] Ava:** _Hey Sara. Thanks for texting, now I can add your number._

**[22:06] Sara:** _No problem. Any news about Rip?_

**[22:07] Ava:** _Not yet._

**[22:30] Sara:** _Are you busy?_

**[22:32] Ava:** _No, what's up?_

**[22:33] Sara:** _I am stuck with a crossword._

**[22:33] Ava:** _Captain Sara Lance stuck with something?_

**[22:34] Sara:** _Haha well yeah. Wanna help? I can't sleep if I don't complete it. My head won't stop thinking about it._

**[22:35] Ava:** _That kind of head, huh? Okay tell me._

**[22:36] Sara:** _The study of elections. 10 letters. Third is E, fifth is H and last is Y._

**[22:36] Ava:** _Oh I know that one! Wait._

**[22:36] Sara:** _Seriously? Okay I'm waiting._

**[22:37] Ava:** _Got it! Psephology._

**[22:37] Sara:** _Wow! Thank you._

**[22:38] Ava:** _You're welcome, miss Lance. Anything else I can help you with?_

**[22:40] Sara:** _I figured out the rest. Heading to bed now. Thanks again._

**[22:41] Ava:** _Long day?_

**[22:41] Sara:** _Yes very long. We have some news about Nora Darhk but I'll tell you tomorrow._

**[22:42] Ava:** _Okay. Talk tomorrow then. Good night, Sara._

**[22:42] Sara:** _Good night, Ava._

The next day, Sara called Ava and told her about what had happened with Nora and Mallus. 

They kept on texting about random topics, making conversation just because they missed each other. They got to know each other better, little by little.

**[14:03] Ava:** _Hey. Still no news about Rip?_

**[15:07] Sara:** _Hey. Sorry, I left my phone in the ship. No news yet._

**[15:30] Ava:** _No worries_.

**[15:32] Sara:** _How are you? How's work?_

**[15:35] Ava:** _Well I just sent some agents to the field, to handle a minor anachronism. Now writing the report about it._

**[15:36] Sara:** _Cool, I'll leave you to it. Let me know when you finish, I want to ask you something_.

**[17:00] Ava:** _Report is done and handed in. I'm at home now. What did you want to ask?_

**[17:05] Sara:** _Nothing important, doesn't matter. Do you have a place in Star City?_

**[17:05] Ava:** _I live in Washington._

**[17:10] Sara:** _That's cool! I'm sorry, I have to go. Rory is growling something outside my door._

**[17:10] Ava:** _Good luck with that._

**[17:10] Sara:** _Talk later?_

**[17:11] Ava:** _Talk later._

* * *

**[09:07] Sara:** _Ava, sorry I couldn't talk yesterday, we went on a mission._

**[09:10] Ava:** _Good morning, Sara. It's okay, no worries. Wanna call later and tell me about the mission?_

**[09:15] Sara:** _Good morning, Ava. Yes I do. It was a funny one._

**[09:17] Ava:** _Doesn't surprise me. Did your plan work?_

**[09:20] Sara:** _Spoiler alert, plan B worked._

**[09:21] Ava:** _Hahaha, as usual. Improvising._

**[09:23] Sara:** _Your impro with the Vikings was almost Legends material._

**[09:25] Ava:** _Gosh, don't remind me._

**[09:30] Sara:** _You should remember. You were fantastic that day._

**[09:34] Ava:** _Thank you, that's sweet of you to say._

**[09:35] Sara:** _I'm not sweet at all._

**[09:36] Ava:** _I think you are. Anyway I should go now._

**[09:37] Sara:** _Call me on your break so I can tell you about the mission._

**[20:00] Ava:** _I'm still laughing about that call._

**[20:05] Sara:** _Ava… that was four hours ago!_

**[20:06] Ava:** _Hahaha yes, it was just too funny._

**[20:07] Sara:** _Well I might have exaggerated it a little... It was good to see you laughing like that._

**[20:10] Ava:** _No crosswords today?_

**[20:12] Sara:** _Yes but this one's easy. No reports today?_

**[20:15] Ava:** _Yes, I am procrastinating._

**[20:16] Sara:** _Hahaha I didn't know you did that!_

**[20:16] Ava:** _Well there are many things we don't know about each other. It's fun to find out._

**[20:17] Sara:** _Yes :)_

**[20:20] Ava:** _Alright, procrastination is over, I gotta write that report. Good night, Sara._

**[20:21] Sara:** _You can do it. Good night, Ava._

The next morning, the Legends went on a mission to save ABBA's famous song Waterloo, which was in the hands of Napoleon. Zari had stayed to run a maintenance check on the ship, and she had been trying to introduce a new simulation software to Gideon's programming. A software Zari designed to find loopholes in history that the Legends could exploit.

When Sara arrived from the mission and heard about what Zari had done, she didn't like it. She said, "I need you to understand. We are in the fixing anachronisms business, not the hacking history business. Now please go fix Gideon."

"Hey, maybe if you would stop bossing me around for a second you would see this is a good idea." Zari said.

"I said please. And even if I didn't, bossing you around is part of my job as captain." Sara's face was inches away from Zari's, anger building up between them.

Zari said she was not a member of the team, she was just sticking around temporarily.

"Then so long as you are on this ship, I am your captain. And if you don't like it, you can stop sticking around."

"Aye, aye." Zari saluted before walking away.

"I'm gonna kill her." Sara said, walking after her.

Ray, who had been listening to the conversation, tried to stop Sara in fear that she would unleash the demon's power. He tripped and fell on the ground, causing Sara to dismiss Zari and help him up.

After making sure Ray was okay, Sara headed over to her room and changed into more comfortable clothes. She checked her phone and saw there was a new message.

 **[15:00] Ava:** _Can I call you in about an hour? I kinda miss you._

Sara glanced at the time. She had another 20 minutes before 4 pm. She replied: _Sure, I kinda miss you too._

Now that the stress of the mission was wearing off, Sara allowed herself to go over her conversation with Zari a few minutes ago. _If only she trusted us enough to work together…_ Zari didn't feel as part of the team because she felt like her place in the ship was not permanent. And Sara couldn't allow any of the Legends, including Zari, to put themselves in danger alone. She couldn't lose another.

Sara decided to go and talk to Zari, have an actual conversation with her.

"Ray, have you seen Zari?" Sara asked, walking into the lab where Ray was working. "I just checked the engine room, she's not there." 

"Hmm no, I haven't."

Sara sighed. "I'm sick and tired of playing mum. She's really starting to piss me off."

Ray got scared again and offered Sara a cup of tea. She accepted it.

"If you see Zari, tell her I'm looking for her." Sara said.

The captain was feeling tired. She headed toward the jumpship without noticing she was being followed by Ray and Zari.

Sara sat in front of the control panel of the jumpship drinking her tea. She also took some crossword puzzles and a pencil.

She glanced at the time on the screen in front of her. _Any time now…_ and suddenly the display showed Ava's name. Sara smirked and touched the screen to answer the call. "Hey." She said.

"Hey!" Ava said with a smile. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, you know… crossword puzzles."

"You look tired." Ava said, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Thanks, jerk." 

"No, no! I didn't…" Ava shook her head, closing her eyes. "I mean, you always look… good. I just… did you have a long day or?" She stuttered.

"You have no idea." Sara said. "There's this person on my team, and she is reckless, she doesn't take orders… and it's like I want to tell her how important she is to this team. Because she is! But sometimes… I tell ya, she does not make it easy."

"What did she do?"

"Well, she hijacked Gideon, crashed our entire system, testing out some simulation software that finds loopholes in history."

"That is definitely against regulations." Ava said, with a little laugh. "Not that I haven't been tempted to change the past."

Sara smiled. "It's just… I don't even want to start looking for loopholes, because I'm gonna start looking for ways to save my sister and then I'm gonna drive myself crazy."

"Yes, you will. So don't."

It was an intimate moment between Ava and Sara. The captain was showing vulnerability again, and it just felt natural. She didn't have to hide it from Ava. They looked into each other's eyes and they saw sincere understanding.

"I'm just tired of always being the bad cop, you know?" Sara said.

Ava laughed again. "Believe me, I understand. I've lost count of how many times I've had to yell at cadets for screwing up, or bust them for breaking protocol."

"Yeah, I don't know. I feel like you might like that." Sara said with a smile. "You seem to get a kick out of ordering people around."

"Maybe, just a little bit." Ava admitted. Both women laughed. "Hey, where are you calling me from? I don't recognize that part of the Waverider."

Sara raised her hands, "Welcome to the jumpship."

Ava put on a serious expression. "Are you hiding, miss Lance?"

"No. I am simply looking for some privacy."

Ava smirked and comfortable silence reigned for a second. "Well, maybe I should come over."

There was a spark in Ava's eyes that made Sara shift in her seat.

"Yeah, yeah, but like… I mean. I'm sure that you're super, super busy." Sara said.

"It's the perks of being the boss, I can just tell Gary I have a meeting."

"Yeah." Sara sighed. "Boss. Speaking of. I should probably go check on the rest of the team, make sure nobody's gonna blow up the ship.

Ava noticed Sara's nervousness. "Okay um… yeah if you change your mind or whatever." She scratched the back of her neck and cleared her throat.

"Does Sara not realize how hard that woman is crushing on her? Maybe she's got no finish." Zari asked Ray.

"No, Captain knows how to close. This is something different." Ray said.

But Sara heard them, or better said she heard a buzz, taking her out of her dazzling connection with Ava's smile.

"Okay, do you hear that?" She asked Ava. "Cause I've been hearing this high pitched buzzing sound. It sounds like there's a fly here in the jumpship."

"Is it a fly? You have to kill it. You have no idea what year it's from. You could reintroduce the plague and have a whole other crisis on your hands."

Sara rolled the magazine over in her hands and hit the place where miniaturized Ray and Zari were standing. She missed them, but they played dead.

"I think I killed it." Sara said.

"Good job." Ava smiled.

"Thanks." Sara mirrored the smile.

Before the tension could build up again between them, the captain decided to end the conversation. "Alright so, I gotta go and check on the team." She noticed Ava's expression darkened a little, so she quickly added, "But yeah, I'm gonna let you know when I'm not busy and you can… you know, come over."

Ava's smile returned. "Okay. Bye, Captain Lance."

"Bye, Agent Sharpe." 

Sara left the jumpship with a light heart. She headed to the galley to get a coffee but walking by the Med Bay she saw Zari was inside.

Zari explained that Gideon had used her simulator to create a loophole in which Zari lived the same hour over and over again. And during that time, she learnt a lot about the Legends.

"You wanna get a coffee?" Sara asked.

Zari accepted and they sat together in the galley.

"Are you wondering what I learnt about you?" Zari asked.

"Do I want to know?" Sara asked, sipping up some coffee.

Zari smiled. "You're afraid of historical loopholes because you'd be tempted to save your sister."

After a pause, Sara said, "Well, not a day goes by that I don't think about her."

"I'm sorry I fried Gideon, but… I had to know if there is a way to save my brother."

"And? What did the simulation say?" Sara asked, leaning on the table.

"It said I can't do it alone."

"Sounds like you're gonna need a team."

"You mean it?" Zari asked.

"I've been thinking about it. Saving your brother. And technically it isn't a loophole. It would be changing your past. But your past is my future, and as far as I'm concerned… well, future's an open road." Sara said. "And besides, I'll probably need your help fighting Mallus."

Both women smiled, all the tension dissipating.

"Hey listen, it's none of my business but… you should ask Ava out."

Sara hummed. "My relationships have a way of ending badly." She said simply.

"You know, it turns out at the end of the day love is worth the risk. None of us can do this alone, captain." Zari lifted her mug. Sara smiled and they clinked their mugs together.


	8. The one about being normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episode 3x12

Sara had been thinking a lot after her conversation with Zari. The captain's relationships didn't go well. They had been harsh, rushed and often mixed with different interests. She wasn't actually sure that love had been a main component. It was there, but buried under nasty toxic stuff.

Sara admitted long ago that she probably was too damaged to know how to love. And she was okay with that, until now. _I am not a normal person. I don't do real relationships. Ava wants a normal relationship with a person who knows how to love… but then why does she want me? Maybe she thinks love is worth the risk, like Zari said… Well, Sara Lance takes risks too._

Sara left the empty mug on the table and walked to her room. She sat on the bed and grabbed her phone.

**[23:03] Sara:** _Hey Ava, I was thinking about our conversation earlier. Can I interest you to dinner next weekend?_

Even though Sara Lance had gone through many nerve wrecking situations in her recent adventures, she had never experienced the anxiety she felt right now. Sara couldn't stop looking at her phone screen, hoping with everything she had, to get a positive answer from Ava. If it didn't happen soon, Sara was certain she would forget how to breathe.

Ava smiled widely at the unexpected text, and allowed herself a moment of joy before breathing deeply and replying.

**[23:15] Ava:** _Of course, I'll be there. :)_

Sara's courage doubled as her heart raced.

**[23:16] Sara:** _Not here. I know a fancy restaurant in Star City, I can get a reservation._

After some thought and evaluation of the captain's words, Ava decided to take her chances.

**[23:18] Ava:** _Are you asking me on a date, miss Lance?_

She held her breath waiting for the answer.

Sara smiled widely, she was amused by her own flush of emotions running through her body. She had never felt this way before. 

**[23:18] Sara:** _Yes. Would you like to go on a date with me, miss Sharpe?_

Ava threw her fists in the air and squealed with excitement.

**[23:19] Ava:** _Yes Sara, it would be nice._

**[23:20] Sara:** _:) Yasss! Okay, talk the details on Friday?_

**[23:21] Ava:** _Perfect. Goodnight!_

**[23:21] Sara:** _Goodnight Ava._

Both women went to sleep very happy, wishing tomorrow would come faster.

Next Friday, they texted to arrange time and place for the date.

Meanwhile Ray, Amaya and Rory were trying to figure out which was the sixth totem Mallus was scared of. They decided to go to Detroit and ask an expert.

"We need to tell Sara we gotta go to Detroit." Ray said.

"No. She's off to Star City. She's been texting some guy, they're going on a date." Mick said.

"How do you know? Have you been looking at her phone?"

"I look at everyone's phone. Helps me pass the time."

"Well… who's she going on a date with?"

"Obviously it's Ava." Amaya said.

"Oh that's hot." Mick said.

"What's hot?" Sara asked, overhearing the last bit of conversation while walking into the parlor.

"Um... the fire totem!" Ray blurted out. He asked Sara what she thought about going to Detroit.

"Right now?" Sara was trying very hard to hide her anxiety and act like not a big deal was happening. "Um, I might sit this one out… because I have to do… business back home." She nodded. _Well done, Sara. Stay cool._

"I bet you do." Mick said with a smirk.

Sara said goodbye and headed toward the dressing room. First, she instructed Gideon to avoid asking questions. Then she asked Gideon to fabricate fancy clothes for her. Gideon did as instructed, giving her a stunning red long sleeves romper. Once Sara was ready, she sneaked into the jumpship without being seen by the others, and set course towards Star City 2018.

Sara got to the restaurant a bit early. A friend of her dad's ran the place so it had been very easy to make a reservation in such short notice. She asked for a drink and waited. Her nerves were out of control, she took deep breaths trying to calm down. _You're already here_ . _You're Sara Lance, you don't chicken out._

After one of those deep breaths Sara heard steps behind her and turned to see who it was. When she saw Ava standing near her, everything else faded away.

"Hi." Ava said shyly. She was wearing a blue dress and her beautiful blond hair was down. She had been feeling very anxious about this date, but the moment she saw Sara sitting at the table everything else disappeared. Ava smiled brightly.

"Wow." Sara said. She smiled and stood up from the chair to walk Closer to Ava. "You look-"

"Weird." Ava interrupted. "I look weird, right?"

"I was gonna say beautiful, but…"

"Thank you. So do you." Ava took a look at Sara's complete outfit. "It's… wow." She chuckled nervously.

Sara turned around and walked towards the chair she wanted to offer Ava. Ava was trying to do the same for her.

"Do you wanna-" they motioned for the chair at the same time. They smiled at their matched chivalry and sat down.

"Madam?" The waiter asked.

"You know, I'll just have whatever she's having, please." Ava said pointing at Sara's drink.

"Vodka martini extra dirty, stirred." Sara said.

"Stirred, not shaken?" Ava asked once the waiter walked away.

"Shaken is for lightweights who like their booze watered down."

"And James Bond."

"James Bond never had to fight a horde of Vikings or help me escape a demon realm."

"True." Ava said, with a cute little laugh.

"How is work?" Sara asked.

"Work is..." Ava started. "Ugh, this is awful." They laughed. "You know what? Let's just try to be normal. For one night. No Legends, no Bureau. What do you think?"

The waiter brought Ava's drink at that very moment so she broke eye contact with Sara, missing the flash of insecurities running through her.

"I feel like relationships are complicated enough without time-traveling supervillains. Don't you?" Ava said after thanking the waiter.

"Okay." Sara agreed. "So, here's to being two regular women on a completely normal first date." Sara raised her glass.

"Completely normal." Ava said, clinking their glasses together.

While Ava's anxiety seemed under control, Sara's wasn't.

After their first drink and light conversation about the city, they switched to a different table, more comfortable for dinner. They ordered the food and asked for a second drink while waiting.

"And did you have lots of friends while growing up here?" Ava asked.

"I had some friends, but most of the time it was just Laurel and I. I was always the rebel and she was always the good one. Why do you look like you already know this? Did you Google me?"

"No. I may have read your file. Back when you were a fugitive from the Bureau… Look, I know this sounds stalkery but in my defense, I did not see this coming."

Sara was amused by Ava's confession. Of course she already knew that. _She's cute when she's nervous._ Sara thought. 

"Well, what do you wanna know?" She asked.

Ava leaned on the table. "Okay. You always seem so composed and cool. But you can't be all cool all the time. What's… the most embarrassed you've ever been?"

Sara did an amusing gesture combing her eyebrows, pretending to be even cooler than Ava ever thought. Then she said, "That's an easy one. First time I had a weapon in my hand."

"Lian Yu?" 

"Nope. Starling City Elementary. I was Peter Pan in the school play. I got up on the stage in the first scene and I just totally froze. I couldn't remember any of my lines, it was like my mind just went blank."

Ava had been listening to Sara's little story with her mouth open. She couldn't believe the intrepid captain was once a scared little girl in a school play. Then she laughed. "What did you do?" She asked.

The date was going great, both of them were relaxed and enjoying the moment. It felt good. 

Suddenly, before Sara could reply, her phone buzzed. She ignored it.

"Well, I broke onto a tap dance, of course. And then I ran off stage crying."

"You can dance?" Of course that was a priceless piece of information. It was usually very hard for her to find someone she liked who could dance. Ava loved dancing.

Again, before Sara could answer her phone buzzed again. 

"Go ahead, you can check it." Ava said.

"I'm sure it's nothing. I'll just…" Sara looked for her phone in her bag. "It's a voicemail. I'm just gonna listen."

"It's okay."

_Please be nothing important, please be nothing important._ Sara pressed the phone to her ear and listened to Gideon's voice. "It wasn't my idea… but the team has taken the Waverider down a joyride to the Bahamas 1717, in a futile attempt to locate the missing earth totem. Just thought you should know."

 _Dammit, Legends! I can't leave you on your own for a single night._ Sara thought. She put her phone away. 

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, totally fine. Normal, in fact." Sara took a sip of her drink and smiled. 

The waiter brought their plates and they started to eat. 

"So, how about you? When was the first time you used a weapon?"

"Well… it was my fifteenth birthday. I went to play paintball with my friends and at one point... I am cornered. My heart is pounding, my palms are sweating, and I know that I only have a few bullets left in my pocket."

"So what did you do?"

"I grabbed a guy and used him as a human shield." Ava said ashamed. Sara smiled at her. "And from that point on, no one would ever play paintball with me ever again."

"Well, sounds like a hell of a fifteenth birthday party." They both laughed, but suddenly Ava saw Gary coming in the restaurant, and she almost choked with her food.

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm gonna go to the restroom really quickly. I'm sorry." Ava said, still coughing. She walked towards Gary.

Sara saw them, but didn't have much time to wonder what was going on... because she looked out the window and saw something that looked like her ship falling from the sky.

"We're gonna need the check." She said. Then she used her comms to whisper to the Legends. "Please tell me that the Waverider did not just crash into Star City." She was furious.

"Star City. Is that where we are?" Zari asked. 

"You gotta be kidding me." 

Ray tried to see the bright side of the disaster but it was not working.

"So Sara… how's the date going?" Nate asked.

"It's over." Sara sighed. The anger was turning into frustration. She was feeling upset. Deep down, she knew something like this was going to happen.

Meanwhile, Ava was very mad at Gary for interrupting her perfect date with Sara.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She said.

"Please don't be mad. You weren't answering your phone."

"This better be a life or death emergency, Gary." Her arms were crossed and her eyes were fire.

"Worse… a speedster took my time courier. And then pants'd me."

"And then wh-" Ava shook her head. She asked if he checked that the headquarters are secured.

Gary said everything was okay, except for one item missing from storage… a long brown coat that used to belong to Rip Hunter.

Ava's expression showed concern. Finally a lead on Rip. She sighed.

"You look great, by the way."

"Shut up Gary. Remember we talked about personal space. Come on." Ava went back to the table followed by Gary. She felt a punch in the stomach when she saw Sara was gone. She had left some cash on the table. Ava froze for a few seconds, but then took a grip of her emotions switching to Agent mode.

"Okay, we need to find Rip. He's got a time courier, which means he can be anywhere, anytime, causing a whole mess of problems."

Ava left some cash on the table as well, and sighed. She was feeling very upset. _How could Sara leave like that? Without saying goodbye. It hurt. Weren't we having a great time together? And also Rip, you really had to come back tonight? Really!?_

* * *

"When I left you were headed to Detroit." Sara said, walking into the bridge of the Waverider.

Ray and Nate told her that Mick and Amaya are marooned in 1717, Damien Darhk has the fire totem and Blackbeard has the earth totem.

"Thank God you're back. You look great. The engine room is a disaster, we're not going anywhere." Zari said walking towards them.

"I don't know what looks more ridiculous. You guys in your pirate ridges or me in this stupid dress." Sara lamented. She was done pretending. The situation couldn't be worse, and it hurt.

"Definitely them." Zari said.

"Hey, I know it looks like a mess." Nate said. "But we really wanted you to have a nice night out."

"Yeah if you really like that mean Time Bureau lady, you shouldn't give up on her." Ray added.

"Look, I'm not giving up on anything. Other than maybe the idea that I'll ever have a normal life." An uncomfortable silence followed. Sara decided to fill it in turning Captain mode on. "Zari, get the ship back in fighting shape 'cause until then, Rory and Amaya are on their own."

While Sara was changing into casual clothing, Nate found another anachronism in 1717 and it turned out to be Damien Darhk. Zari needed to hurry up with the reparations of the Waverider.

Without any warning, Ava stepped out of a portal into the ship. She was wearing her Time Bureau uniform and her hair was tied up. She didn't look happy.

Sara turned around. "Ava! Hey!" She was smiling nonchalantly, even though the pitch of her voice showed she was nervous.

"Don't _'Hi Ava'_ me, you stood me up, jerk!"

Sara sighed. 

Ray and Nate took cover behind the control panel, leaving the women in confrontation.

"I gotta hand it to you, miss Lance. You take the phrase _'Dine and dash'_ to a whole new level." Ava said, walking closer to Sara. 

"Look, the Waverider fell out of the sky. My team needed help." Sara said.

Ava faked a laugh. "Why does that not surprise me?"

"You know, this was never gonna work out."

"Really? Because I'm a mature person who actually can communicate?" Ava walked past Sara brushing their shoulders together as a sign of anger.

Sara turned around to face her. "Oh really! Such a communicator. Like when you said you were going to the bathroom?"

"What are you talking about?" Ava asked, now the anger giving space to the shame.

"You think I didn't see Gary?" Sara walked closer to Ava.

"Oh my- Rip broke into the Time Bureau. I was coming back to the table to tell you."

Sara covered her face with her hands and raised her voice, "You know? This is pointless."

"Yeah it is."

"We should have never tried to be normal. I'm not normal, alright? I'm never gonna be normal, and I'm not gonna be normal for anyone!"

"I don't want you to be normal!" Ava said.

"You don't?" 

"Hell no."

Blue eyes searched blue eyes, looking for for the lie. But it wasn't there. Sara found pure honesty in Ava's eyes.

That connection brought them closer until it was too much. Sara and Ava leaned into the feeling. One hand held the other woman closer and the other cupped her cheek softly, while sharing a passionate first kiss.

While they were arguing, Ray and Nate took the Time Courier to open a portal to Bahamas 1717. The portal was still open. When Ava had to reluctantly break the kiss for air, she saw it, and also saw some pirates walking in the ship.

"What?" Sara asked.

"No, the kiss, it was great… just." Ava stuttered. She turned Sara around so she could see the pirates too.

"We claim this ship and you two women as ours!" Blackbeard said.

"Come on." Ava muttered.

Sara got her composure back and grabbed two long wooden sticks they could use as weapons. "Let's do this."

Ava and Sara fought side by side against the pirates. It only took them a couple of minutes to incapacitate them all and corner their captain with the sticks on his throat. The rest of the team was back in the ship soon enough, with the Earth Totem.

* * *

"Rum floats were a very good idea." Ava said some time later in the galley.

"Only seems fair since we missed dessert." Sara said. She poured both of them a drink.

They cheered and took a sip.

"Hey look, I'm sorry." Sara said. "About bailing on you earlier. I should have been honest with you about what was going on with my team."

"No, no, no, no. I never should have put the kibosh on talking show."

"You're right. It's your fault." Sara said.

Ava wasn't expecting that answer. She smiled and shook her head looking down. "You… oh man!"

_She's adorable._ Sara thought, smiling too.

"Besides," Ava added. "I'd rather fight pirates with you any day than sit in some stupid restaurant."

Sara leaned on the table. "Well in that case… I was thinking Genghis Khan for our second date?"

Ava leaned on the table too, "Done." She said. "But only if I can call you Peter Pan."

"Don't."

"Miss… Miss P…" Ava tried, but Sara put her finger on her lips.

"Don't!"

Both women laughed softly. There was a very good feeling in the air.

"Okay." Ava said looking around. "So do you have a room on this ship, or?" 

Sara was gratefully surprised by that question. "Let's go find out." She said with a smirk. Ava bit her lip and followed the captain.

Sara guided Ava towards her room. The hallways were empty, the rest of the Legends were minding their own business.

Once they got to the room Sara motioned for Ava to step inside and closed the door behind them.

The Agent looked around, taking in everything she could. A bedroom can say a lot about a person.

Everything was tidy. The bed took most of the space in the room. Sara had some books and little decorations that seemed to be cared for. There was also a tv and a few old items that seemed purchased during her time travels.

"Like what you see?" Sara asked. She was standing by the door.

Ava turned around to face the Captain. She took a step forward. "Yeah I do." Ava whispered. Her eyes were locked with Sara's. She put both hands on the door, trapping Sara between her arms.

Their faces were inches apart. Memories of previous encounters flashed by. The memories felt old and distant, so much had changed since the first time they met.

Sara smirked and arched her eyebrows, "Can we kiss already?" 

Ava didn't wait for a second invitation. She pressed her body against Sara's, against the door. Her hands ran through Sara's hair while their lips crashed together. 

The Captain's right hand caressed Ava's neck while her left hand rested on her waist.

The passionate kiss soon became a different one. The pace slowed down, allowing both women to breathe and smile. The extra oxygen in their brains helped their hands explore different touches and caresses.

Biting Ava's lip softly, Sara turned them around and guided Ava towards the bed. She took off the Agent's blazer and gently pushed her to fall on the bed. Both women took a moment to just look at each other. This didn't feel like any other "one night stand" for Sara. This was something else. She caressed a strand of hair away from Ava's face and they smiled. One second later, their lips craved for each other once again. Sara, who was on top of Ava, leaned over to kiss her deeply yet gently. This novel intensity made Ava feel like she was dreaming.

Suddenly her Time Courier started buzzing. She reluctantly broke the kiss to gaze at it.

"Ugh. What now?" She said.

"Duty calls?" Sara asked. Her eyes showed understanding. She really wanted Ava to stay with her, her kisses were addictive. But she also learnt something, they were both important women in their jobs. And their jobs were important parts of their lives. They would need to find a balance not to leave any part of their lives out. 

Sara sat up and Ava followed. They were still keeping as much physical contact as possible.

"It's an emergency call, all Agents should head to HQ." Ava sighed, running her hand through her hair.

"Hey, it's okay."

"Can I kiss you again, Miss Pe-"

Sara shut Ava up with a kiss in between smiles.

"Now go." She said, unwillingly breaking the kiss.

Ava stood up and put on her blazer. She untied her hair and tried to comb it a little. 

"See you tomorrow?" Sara asked.

"See you tomorrow, Sara." 

And with that, Ava disappeared through a portal.


	9. The one full of nonverbal communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers what happens between episodes 3x12 and 3x13. It also covers episode 3x13.

Ava Sharpe woke up, greeting the morning with a smile. A warm light slipped into her room through the curtains. She grabbed the sheets dreamily and rolled over, wrapping herself up tightly like a cinnamon roll. Then she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. The memories from the previous day were dancing in her mind, triggering all kinds of good feelings. They were,in fact, the most incredible feelings she remembered having. Ever.

After a sigh, Ava glanced at the clock on the wall.  _ Good.  _ It was early. She stretched sleepily and then sat up. Before leaving the bed, she checked her phone. No notifications, so she proceeded to have breakfast. Even though she knew the Time Bureau was in a state of alarm due to Rip Hunter, Ava drank her coffee feeling lighthearted. Last night, the meeting with Director Bennet and the rest of the Agents had been chaotic and full of emergency directives. Ava however, had been in the clouds.

The Agents were quickly dismissed by the Director and instructed to search and capture Hunter in groups. Ava’s group was scheduled to start in the morning.

After breakfast, she took a shower and sang as she hadn’t sang in a long time.  _ The neighbours must be covering their ears.  _ She smiled at the thought. She liked this new looseness.

* * *

Ava let her keys bang against the table eight hours later and fell onto the couch. That mission was pointless and exhausting. Rip Hunter didn’t want to be found. He had a time courier, it was like searching for a needle in a bunch of hay.

_And why am I always on duty with Gary Green?_ _He makes my head ache._

She checked her phone. There was a new message.

**[15:43] Sara:** Hey beautiful! Are you coming over?

Ava smiled brightly and pressed her phone to her chest.

**[17:10] Ava:** I’ll be there soon :)

She replied. Then she changed her uniform for casual clothes and got ready to use her time courier. A portal opened to the Waverider.

“If you are looking for the Captain, she’s solving a little problem in the jumpship. She should be back soon.”

“Hello, Gideon… Oh, okay I’ll just wait here.” Ava cleared her throat and crossed her arms, clearly uncomfortable. She looked around the parlor. Sara’s picture frame called her attention for the second time, so Ava surrounded the table to have a closer look at it. She picked up the object. In the picture she could see Sara, Laurel and Oliver, smiling at the camera. _ Wow, you must have lived so many adventures with Laurel and Oliver. I want to hear every story. _

Gideon clearing an imaginary throat startled her. “Captain Lance doesn’t appreciate people touching her belongings.”

Ava immediately left the picture frame where she found it and crossed her arms again. Her sight was glued to the floor. After a moment she asked, “Gideon, you don’t happen to know Rip Hunter’s whereabouts, do you?

“I am not allowed to recieve any communications from Mr. Hunter without informing Captain Lance. I am not a traitor, you know?”

“No I… I didn’t mean th-”

“If you came here to question my loyalty to the Legends…”

“No! I actually came here to see Sara…” Ava admitted, the volume of her voice in decrescendo.

Silence followed, and reigned for several minutes. Ava could feel the tension in the air, it was so weird to be disliked by an artificial intelligence.

“I’d like to take this moment to apologize, Agent Sharpe.” Gideon said after the long silence.

“What? What for?”

“I might have called you a bitch a couple of times…”

“Wh- A bitch!?” Ava moved her hands in the air.

“But that was before I started, like people say,  _ shipping _ you two.”

“Gideon, who are you talking to? Oh, hi Ava.” Sara greeted with a smile when she saw the blonde. The captain walked into the parlor.

“Shipping? Me and Sara?”Ava asked. “Hey.” She added with a smile dedicated to Sara.

“Indeed. In fact, some of the captain’s dreams were very enlightening because-”

“Enough Gideon.” Sara interrupted. Her cheeks were flushed. She grabbed Ava by the hand and guided her toward the galley.

Zari turned a corner and walked in their direction in the hallway. Sara and Ava quickly let go of the hand they were holding.

Zari looked up, “Hey.” She said. She stopped walking and so did both women in front of her. They looked uneasy. “Um… Are you here to help us find Rip?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I am here for. Yep.” Ava answered.

“She’s going to compare notes with me so we can track him.” Sara said. Ava nodded.

“Cool.”Zari said. She glanced at them one last time and continued her journey to the bridge.

Sara threw an assuring smile at Ava. "Drink? Coffee?" She offered.

"Coffee would be great." 

"The Bureau driving you crazy?"

Sara grabbed two mugs and walked around the counter in the galley. She pressed the coffee button in the machine while Ava took a seat at the table.

"Yeah. We went on a pointless mission this morning. Director Bennet pretends to know what he's doing but…" Ava took the coffee mug Sara handed her. "Thank you. Anyway my mind is somewhere else lately. Is it wrong that I don't care about where Rip Hunter is?"

Sara took a sip of coffee after sitting in front of Ava. "Nah, it's Rip. He comes and goes… So where's your mind, huh?" Sara wiggled her eyebrows making Ava laugh.

Ava took a sip of coffee delaying the answer. "It's in a timeship called… What was the name? Oh! The Waverider." She said.

Sara smirked. "Well, that's my ship!" She said following Ava's game. "Although, according to the AI, we may have a  _ ship  _ somewhere, for you and me." She took another sip of coffee while Ava laughed.

Both women enjoyed their coffee in silence for the next few minutes. Every now and then they exchanged a smile or a gaze.

"So, I think I saw a vinyl player in your room yesterday? Got any discs?" Ava asked.

"Music! Let's go find out." Sara replied. She stood up and guided Ava to her room as she had done the previous night. 

Even though Ava knew the way because she had played the previous night’s scene a thousand times in her head, she walked behind Sara and took the chance to admire her gorgeous body from behind.

Once inside the room, Ava walked straight to the vinyl player. It was on a shelf, next to a silver jewelry box.

“There’s a small collection on the shelf over there. I bought it all together as a package.” Sara said from behind her. She was sitting on the bed, taking in every move Ava was making. The blonde browsed over the shelf with genuine curiosity until she chose a disc.

“Can I?” Ava asked, motioning toward the player.

Sara nodded with a smile. Ava placed the disc in the player and pressed the button. A beautiful melody floated in the air around them.

“It’s tango.” Ava said. She held a hand out for Sara. “I danced tango for a couple of years.”

Sara wasn’t expecting the offer, but she smirked and accepted Ava’s hand standing up from the bed. Ava instantly placed her free hand on Sara’s waist to pull her closer. The captain did the same and braced herself to follow Ava’s lead.

The movement was enchanting. Ava’s perfume was tantalizing. The way her hair was dancing to the rhythm gave Sara electric pulses that made her feel above the clouds.

“You’re a good dancer.” Ava whispered, locking her eyes on Sara’s.

Sara tried to speak but failed. On a second attempt she managed to whisper back, “I would be even better if your perfume wasn’t so distracting.”

Sara moved her hand up from Ava’s waist to her shoulder, while still swaying to the music. Then she moved her other hand up.

Ava’s right hand took its place next to the left one, on Sara’s waist.

After a few seconds Ava bit her lower lip and asked, “Do you like it?”

“Your perfume? Definitely.”

“Tango.”

“Oh that. I like it, yeah. I’d never danced tango before.” Sara softly stroke Ava’s cheek. “Do you know what else I like?”

Sara leaned forward, her eyes daring to leave Ava’s just to focus on her lips before the unstoppable force took control. However, as tempting as it was to crash their lips together, Sara held back. A little gasp from Ava informed her that the other woman was feeling the exact same eagerness. 

Sara slid her hand behind Ava’s neck as a way of saying _ ‘Let me lead now’.  _

Her fingers caressing like feathers sent goosebumps all over Ava’s skin. 

Lips ghosting over lips, the attraction turned irresistible. Ava kissed Sara gently and slowly, pressing their bodies together by the waist.

They seemed to have an unspoken agreement to not letting fierceness take control of their actions. Intense and unstoppable, yet gentle and sweet, Ava and Sara allowed their hands to wander over their skin while kissing.

In ecstasy, they barely noticed their clothes were being pulled off. They noticed every caress, though. Each of them was being engraved in their memory.

Soon the sheets joined the symphony of senses. Ava felt their softness on her back but it barely distracted her from Sara’s kisses down her neck. The captain’s weight on top of her was delightful. Ava was fighting to keep her eyes open all the time because she didn’t want to take her eyes away from Sara.

The captain was enjoying Ava’s soft moans and gentle scratches, while her hands found their way to please her. Ava claimed Sara’s mouth on hers once again, as pleasure washed over her body. 

After her climax, she didn’t let Sara go. Ava kept her arms firmly wrapped around the captain’s waist, sharing smiles, nibbles and tender kisses. After a few minutes, Sara let her full body weight next to Ava, resting her head on Ava’s chest. They stood like that in precious silence, only the music playing in the background. 

Ava softly stroking Sara’s hair. Sara softly tracing Ava’s abs.

Once Ava recovered her energy, she started tracing the line down from Sara’s head, past her neck, and all the way down her spine. Sara felt delightful shivers and smirked, looking for Ava’s eyes. Ava smiled back, gently caressed Sara’s cheek, and then she rolled them over.

The captain bit her lower lip in anticipation.

Ava kissed Sara’s chin and scattered playful kisses on her jaw. “Enjoy.” She whispered in Sara’s ear. The word, together with Ava’s hand finding with her breast, made Sara feel shivers and moan. Ava wasn’t planning to stop anytime soon. She continued kissing down Sara’s neck and chest, smiling into the kisses every time Sara showed her delight. The captain arched her back and stroke Ava’s hair when she went all the way down to taste her.

Sara was pleased, but still full of energy.The moment Ava crawled back next to her, the captain eagerly crashed their lips together.

It was going to be a long, beautiful night.

* * *

Ava woke up slowly. She felt Sara’s warm skin below her. She smiled dreamily at Sara’s calm breathing. Their hearts were beating in sync. 

The captain stretched. Ava opened her eyes and met silver blue ones,smiling at her.

“Morning.” Sara whispered in a husky voice.

“Good morning.” Ava replied.

“Stay for breakfast.” Sara stroke Ava’s hair gently.

Ava thought about it and then said, “Okay, I will.”

They smiled and kissed a couple of times before getting up.

Once in the galley, Sara made some coffee for them and asked Gideon for some fruits. Ava decided to try the french toast. Both women enjoyed their breakfast in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Sara leaned on the island in the galley, looking at Ava and smiling in a mischievous way.

Ava smiled at Sara while sipping her coffee. "You know what, Gideon? I think I'll have some more of your amazing French toast." She said.

Ava walked around the island and past behind Sara. The captain playfully bumped her butt on Ava. "You must've worked up an appetite last night." Sara said with a smile.

Ava smiled back at her and then proceeded to get her food. In that moment, Zari entered the room.

"Sara, can we take the Waverider to when Mount St. Helene erupted? I've always wanted to-" Zari started talking as soon as she walked into the galley, but wasn't really looking around. When she noticed Ava, she stopped herself in order to change the course of her words. "Psych. That would not be a cool thing to do. This is a very important time vehicle.

We would never use it for recreational or dangerous purposes." 

Sara nodded in amused approval and glanced over at Ava. 

"Hey, Ava." Zari greeted, as if she had just noticed her presence. "You look great." She took a closer look. "... in what you wearing yesterday." 

"Right." Ava said, awkwardly looking at her own clothes. 

Realization dawned on Zari. "I'm going to stop talking now. Yeah."

"Hey Zari." Ava greeted, walking back to her spot for breakfast.

“This is weird. Why are there so many dirty dishes? Ray loves doing dirty dishes.” Sara said.

“Oh, yeah. I also don't hear him spewing the neurological benefits of putting butter in his coffee.” Zari added.

“Gideon, where's Ray?”

“I don't know. But we are being hailed by the Time Bureau.”

Ava almost choked with her food. She coughed and glanced at Sara with wide eyes.

“Put them on.” Sara said.

“Hello,Legends! And… Agent Sharpe…” Gary greeted.

“What is it, Gary?” Ava asked bluntly.

“Uh, this, uh, was just delivered to us.” Gary showed them some sort of ceramic pot. “There was a Palmer Tech phone hidden inside with a message recorded on it.”

Gary played the video. It was Ray. “Hey, guys, if you're finding this,

it's me, Ray, obviously. You've probably guessed by now that I have been abducted

by the Darhks.”

“Hey, when we see him, do we tell him we didn't even notice he was gone?” Zari asked.

“Yeah, definitely not.” Sara said.

“Darhk said that they would let go of me when they were done with me.” Ray continued. “ He is asking me if I want to see a Grateful Dead concert, which is really kind of weird.” Zari and Ava shared a confused look. Sara frowned. “But, look, you'll probably try to come after me, and find me. If you do, he said that he'll kill me. So, you know, please don't do that. Okay. Bye.”

Zari quickly finished the berries she was eating for breakfast, and looked at Sara.

The captain thanked Gary and ended the call before he could say anything else.

“Alright, Zari go and tell Mick and Nate that their mission is to look for Ray at every Grateful Dead concert in history. Tell them to turn on their comms and take the jumpship. Ava and I will back them up from here.” Sara glanced at the blonde, who nodded. Zari hurried away. Ava and Sara walked toward the bridge and started searching the timeline.

“Are you sure we should be looking for Ray after he told us not to?” Ava asked.

Before Sara could answer, a portal opened in front of them and Rip Hunter walked into the bridge of the Waverider.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ava spat out.

“Ditto.” Sara said.

They noticed another person walking in next to Rip when he talked, “I thought you said they'd be psyched to see us.”

“Look, I know what you're both thinking, but if you'd just let me explain-” Rip started.

“If you're here to apologize for burgling the Bureau, and humiliating Gary, then-” Ava interrupted him.

“Well, we actually did that for a good reason, because we have to stop Mollusk.” The other man said.

“Mallus.” Ava and Sara corrected at the same time.

“And, yes, we know all about him. Sara basically met him.” Ava said.

“And you're here because the Time Bureau has finally come to its senses, or...“ Rip asked.

“Ava and I are-” Sara started. 

But she was interrupted by Ava, “Working together. Independently.”

“Right.” Sara agreed. “Wally, it's good to see you. I remember you from Barry and Iris' wedding.”

“Yeah, wasn't that so fun? It was such a beautiful ceremony. The hors d'oeuvres were like, meh… And then the Nazi invasion.” Wally replied.

“All right, you guys still haven't told us why you're on the ship.” Sara said.

“Atoning. I hope. I should never have kept you both

in the dark.” Rip said, walking closer to them. “The deaths of those agents and the return of Damien Darhk will haunt me for the rest of my days. But, surely, you understand the gravity now of what we're facing.”

Mick and Nate walked into the bridge. Nate and Wally shared a friendly greeting and then Mick asked what the hell was Rip doing there.

“Any sign of Ray?” Sara asked.

“Uh, no, just another Grateful Dead end.” Nate replied, pun intended.

Sara called all the Legends for a meeting at the bridge. Then she sat on the captain’s chair while waiting for them to arrive. Amaya and Zari walked into the bridge and saw the newcomers.

“What the hell are you doing here?” They asked at the same time, pointing at Rip.

Rip waved his hand awkwardly. Then the women greeted Wally and stared at their captain, waiting for her to speak.

“We're still not any closer to finding Ray.” Sara walked towards the centre of the bridge, where the Legends were standing. “Nate, I need you hitting those books. Look for any sign of him. Gideon, scan the anachronism map, something pops up, you let us know. Rory-”

“Crush a six-pack.” Mick said.

“You do what you do.”

“I'll head back to the Bureau, put our resources on it too.” Ava said, and she disappeared through a portal.

“I have an idea. It's a little experimental.” Amaya said.

“I am listening.”

“Well, we know that Ray is with the Darhks, and so is my totem. If I meditate with Zari using her totem to anchor me, I think I can reach out to the ancestral plane. If we find my totem-”

“Then you find Ray.” Sara finished Amaya’s idea.

“Meditation? I've actually been doing a lot of that and I think I could help you.” Wally offered.

“Perfect. Make it happen.”

Just like that, the Legends were on it, each playing their parts. Sara felt restless. She spent the next hour checking the timeline with Gideon again and again, watchful. Realizing that she wasn’t really being useful in that state, Sara started throwing shuriken against a Damien Darhk poster in the parlor. 

After a while, Ava walked through a portal next to her, wearing the Bureau’s uniform. Sara didn’t even flinch.

“So, Ray's nowhere to be found and things are getting worse at the Bureau. Bennett is so stubborn, he's refusing any meetings with Rip that don't involve shackles.” Ava said.

Sara’s gaze was still focused on the poster. She walked closer to retrieve the weapon stuck on it.

“I'm so sorry. Here I am, babbling about Bureau politics, and your friend's in trouble. How are you holding up?” Ava asked softly.

Sara threw the shuriken against the poster once again, this time with enough power to cut it in half.

“Mutilating photos of your nemesis. Got it.” Ava said. “Well, at least our nonverbal communication skills are off to a good start.”

Sara sighed deflated, and Ava walked closer to face her.

“Everything that we're doing to find Ray, it's turning up empty.” Sara said.

“Hey, you're going to get Ray back. Promise.” Ava assured. This brought warmth to Sara’s heart.

“Can we have a little bit more of some nonverbal communication?” The captain closed the gap between them holding Ava’s hands and kissing her softly. It was a simple, little kiss. But it was meaningful.  _ I’ve got you. You’ve got me. We’ve got this. _

None of them noticed Rip Hunter was witnessing the scene. He took a few steps back and then made some extra noise approaching the parlor.

“Miss Lance. Agent Sharpe.” He greeted.

“Rip. Ava was just informi-”

“I was just making sure Sara was okay.” Ava interrupted. She smiled and then cleared her throat. “Now I’ll go back to the Bureau and keep you informed.” She disappeared into a portal.

Sara blew out a breath and walked toward the bathroom to wash her face.

Some time later, she was back with Rip at the bridge, ready to start scanning the timeline again. Suddenly a timequake hit the ship. Sara thought it could be Ray sending them his location, so she instructed Gideon to head over to Berlin, 1962. 

Ava walked into the bridge through a portal.

“Did you feel the timequake?” She asked.

Sara locked eyes with her and nodded. “It must be Ray.”

Wally West, AKA Kid Flash ran to take Ray Palmer back to the ship as fast as possible. He also took the Fire totem from the Darhks as a souvenir.

Zari and Amaya also came back from their trip through meditation to the spiritual realm. They informed the others that the Darhks have been causing the anachronisms on purpose in order to break the time prison Mallus is trapped in. If they continue destroying history, the demon will be freed.

“You should inform the Time Bureau immediately.” Rip said.

“Gideon, patch us through to Director Bennett please.” Ava said.

The Agent, the captain and Rip walk toward the parlor when the call connects. They can see Director Bennet on the screen.

“Make it fast, Agent Sharpe, because I've got to stop Alexander Hamilton from seeing Hamilton, the musical.” 

“How's it possible that everyone got tickets to that but me?” Ava asked. Then she focused on the matter at hand. “Director Bennett, we have some developments in the Mallus investigation that you need to be aware of.”

“Such as your arresting Director Hunter?”

“I haven't arrested him exactly yet.” Ava’s uneasiness was palpable.

“Look, we got bigger problems right now than punishing Rip for what happened to those agents.” Sara said.

“I doubt those deceased agents would agree with you, Miss Lance.”

“Now, you place Hunter in handcuffs this instant, or you're all going-”

Director Bennet was cut off by the attack of an angry gorilla.

“Oh, my God.” Ava said, horrified.

“It's Grodd, actually.” Rip corrected.

Signal was lost. The three of them stood there, looking at the screen.

“Ava, I'm so sorry. He was a good man... I think.” Sara said.

“Yes, most unfortunate…” Rip said. “I believe that this tragedy makes you the highest ranking official at the Bureau. May I return to work... Director Sharpe?”

“Um... “ She cleared her throat. “Yes.”

Ava was at the edge of collapsing. Sara gently stroke her back up and down.

“Why don’t you stay here with Rip and talk through the steps ahead?”

Ava nodded with a smile, and Sara walked away.

A few minutes later she found Wally in the hallway. He decided to stay with the Legends for a while.

Meanwhile, Rip talked Ava through the steps that followed, which helped a lot to clear her head. Then they found Sara.

“Well, I wish we could stay longer, but my boss was just murdered by a gorilla, not to mention the mess in Berlin that needs fixing.” Ava said, finding Sara’s eyes.

“Well, call me.” Sara said with a smile. Ava smiled back at her.

“Until next time, Captain Lance.” Rip saluted.

“Until next time, Agent Hunter.” Sara nodded and then glanced at Ava. “Director Sharpe.”

Ava stared at Sara walking away until she turned the corner.

“So, you and Miss Lance, hmm?” Rip asked, startling Ava out of her thoughts. 

Ava cleared her throat, “Oh, I think there's something real there. Yeah, she's special.” Ava said. Then she opened the portal back to the Bureau.

“And so are you.” Rip whispered to himself when Ava was out of reach. “Gideon, delete file 354-Z. Sara can never find out the truth about Ava.” He ordered.


	10. The one about Sara's truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episodes 3x14 and 3x15

“All right, Legends, put on your Sunday best, because we are going to church.” Sara said. With that, she sent the Legends on their mission to save Elvis Presley.

It turned out Elvis had bought a guitar with a pretty bright stone on it. It also turned out the stone was the missing Death Totem of Zambesi. 

After plan A failed, plan B worked in full Legends’ style. The team managed to separate the totem from the guitar. They returned the instrument to Elvis and put the totem in an encrypted lock box that Ray designed specifically for it. It was supposed to contain its power and prevent it from affecting any of the members of the crew.

The captain took a much needed shower letting her tired muscles relax under the warm water. Soon after, Gideon announced that Ava was calling. A hologram of the Director of the Time Bureau appeared in front of Sara.

“Hey.” They greeted at the same time, with a smile.

Before Ava could speak again, Sara raised a hand. “Wait.” She said. “Don’t you wanna come over? We can get comfortable in bed.” Sara smirked.

Ava noticed subtle signs of tiredness on Sara’s face, and wanted nothing more than to hold her tightly. “Let me put some stuff in order here, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting in my room.” Sara said with a wink.

Some time later, Ava walked through a portal into the Waverider.

"Hey, you." Nate said, waving his hand. He walked by Ava towards the galley. Ava waved her hand in return and walked in the opposite direction, toward Sara's room.

Ava knocked on the door and Sara opened it right away, inviting her in. Then she leaned in to give Ava a gentle welcoming kiss.

Once again, Ava noticed the signs of tiredness on the captain's face.

"Wanna get comfortable and watch a movie?" She asked, holding Sara's hands and squeezing them.

Sara agreed with a smile. Soon the two women were comfortably laying in bed. Sara was laying on her back and Ava was resting her head on Sara's chest, their legs intertwined.

"I missed you." Sara said, gently stroking Ava's hair.

"I missed you too." Ava answered. Her fingers were playing with the seams of Sara's shirt. "We should probably do this more often. This week has been crazy busy at the Bureau and also for your team, but… I'm sure we can take some time in between. For us."

Ava's body tensed after the last words, as if she was worried she had said too much, too soon. Sara placed a soft kiss on Ava's head.

"You're right. We can do that, make time for us." Sara said. "Our week has been crazy indeed, we fought ghosts and Mick's rat died."

"Axl?" 

"Yeah. Ray threw a funeral for him and then he became a ghost attracted by Elvis' music."

Ava looked up, searching in Sara's eyes if she was telling a true story. Her confused expression made Sara laugh. Suddenly her expression changed and she brought a hand to her head and closed her eyes.

"What's wrong?" Ava asked.

"Ugh. Headache." Sara replied.

"Alright." Ava said in a sweet soothing tone. "Let's leave the movie for another day. You should rest, okay?"

Sara tried to nod but her head complained. "Good idea." She said. "But come closer."

Ava and Sara found a cuddling position once again, their legs intertwined and their bodies as close as possible, while still comfortable to sleep. Their gazes locked.

"Good night, Sara." Ava whispered.

"Good night, Ava."

  
  


* * *

_ It's cold. _

_ Sara is walking through fog, in a very familiar place.  _

_ It's the Waverider. _

_ She looks around, something is whispering in the air. _

_ Instinct makes her turn around. _

_ There's a little girl dressed in yellow, running away. _

_ It's the same girl, Sara recognizes her from previous dreams. She has been away for a while, but now she's back.  _

_ There's something about that girl that makes Sara feel awful.  _

_ She can't understand why. _

_ Sara follows the girl.  _

_ She walks. She runs. _

_ The girl is in the galley, she's not moving. _

_ Sara stops. _

_ The girl turns around and speaks to Sara. "I'm sorry I forgot about you." She screams. Her head is spinning. _

_ Sara is scared. _

Sara woke up. Her heart was beating fast, her breathing accelerated.

Ava woke up too, and put her hand on Sara's shoulder. "It's okay." She said. "Hey I'm right here. It's okay." There was her soothing tone of voice again.

Sara sighed in relief and fell back on the bed. Ava's hand moved to Sara's chest, reassuringly.

"Here I thought you gave nightmares, not had them." 

"First time for everything."

"Wanna talk about it?" Ava whispered.

"No... I'm fine." Sara whispered back. She turned on her side to face Ava and hold the hand that was on her chest before.

"So who's John?" Ava asked, avoiding Sara's gaze."

"What?"

"It's just you called his name out in your sleep and… I was trying really hard not to be jealous." Ava's gaze returned to Sara, questioningly.

"Oh… no, it's probably John Constantine." Sara said. Ava intensified her questioning look, so Sara continued. "He's a demonologist who helped me with Mallus and he kinda looks like Sting."

"So he's just a friend."

"Yeah you could… say that…" Sara said. "You know we did sleep together but…"

"Uuugh." Ava exclaimed, and turned on her back. She took her hands away from Sara to cover her own face, but the captain quickly grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer.

"It was the sixties! And everybody was getting wild."

"The sixties, huh?" Ava asked. "And I thought I waited a long time between partners." 

"The year was 1969 but… it was like three weeks ago." Sara said, and she braced herself for Ava's reaction to that piece of information.

Ava used her elbow to lift her upper body. "Three weeks!?"

"Yeah well, three weeks before I had a girlfriend!" Sara replied.

Silence reigned for two seconds while Ava processed the words. Then she smiled brightly. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?"

"Maybe." Sara said tentatively, but a glance at Ava told her that the insecurities had no room this time. "I mean, why not? John's fun-"

"Oh please don't talk about John."

"-but he's not Ava Sharpe." Sara said, laughing. She pulled the sheets over their heads and started kissing Ava's neck, making her giggle adorably.

"Pardon the interruption, captain. But you're needed on the bridge." Gideon announced.

"Oh come on!" Ava complained. 

Sara snorted and rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry." She said.

"It's okay, I should go to work too." Ava said, gently brushing a strand of Sara's hair behind her ear.

Sara cupped her cheek and leaned in for a kiss.

"I can call you later… girlfriend." Ava whispered.

* * *

A few minutes later, Sara walked into the bridge.

"Hey." She said.

"Morning, captain. Where's Mrs. Captain?" Nate asked.

"Ava had to work." Sara replied with a sigh.

It amazed her how easy it was to speak to her crew about Ava in that way. 

Looking out the window, it was evident that time was breaking faster than before. Team Mallus was doing their job faster than the Legends and the Bureau could fix it. That's why Sara decided to split the team in groups and send each small group on a different mission.

When everything was settled, she felt a sudden noise in the head. It was like a painful vibration.

"Are you okay?" Amaya asked.

"Yeah, do you-" Sara was about to ask if any of them heard the same thing, but she stopped herself. They clearly hadn't heard anything, and they needed no distractions. "I'm fine." She said instead. "Alright, that's it. No snazzy send-off, mama's got a headache."

With that, the Legends were dismissed, but the captain kept hearing the noises inside her head. She went to the galley and prepared some tea. Something was wrong, and she thought that if she had called for John in her sleep, maybe she could call him now and see what he thought about this sudden condition.

"Do me a favor, Gideon. Get John Constantine on the line." She asked.

"I'm afraid Mr. Constantine does not currently own a phone." Gideon replied.

"Because God forbid he'd do anything normal." Sara muttered.

There was the noise again. And some sort of whispers, just like in her nightmare. 

Sara decided to follow the noise, it must come from somewhere.

She walked towards the parlor and found the box with the death totem inside. She opened it and the noise stopped.

"It calls to you, doesn't it? The death totem chose you." The voice came from the other side of the room. There was a woman standing there, dressed like Canary.

"You're..."

"You." The woman said. "After you died."

"This is the death totem."

"It yearns for a new bearer." The woman insisted. "Imagine all you could do with dominion over the dead. You could banish that little girl from your dreams, bring back your sister."

"I'm no totem bearer." Sara said. Suddenly the woman was standing next to her.

"You've conquered your demon's. You're strong enough to wield it." And suddenly the woman was gone. Her voice sounded from nowhere, "Pick up the totem, Sara. It's the only way to defeat Mallus. Six totems need six totem bearers. Who else on your team was born to wield death?"

Sara thought for a moment, but she knew it was true. It was the only option. She reached out for the totem, found a choker in her room and put it around her neck.

The captain found herself inside the spirit realm once again. It was a dark place, sand beneath her feet, a few dead trees, and fog all around her. She froze in place, couldn’t see beyond 2 metres in front of her. Some voices and strange sounds were heard in the distance,but she couldn’t understand any words.

“Sara, I know you’re still in there.” She suddenly heard a voice clear in the air.

“Amaya.” She said.

“She can’t hear you.” Said another voice. Closer, darker.

“Mallus.” She recognized it.

“You’ve always secretly feared you’re a monster. Now a monster is what you’ve become.”

Sara looked around, fear creeping up her body, giving her chills.

“Sara, please no.” She heard Amaya pleading.

_ Am I hurting my friends?  _ Sara’s head was spinning.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ava was having trouble concentrating on work. She decided it was time for a break to call Sara. Her hologram materialized in the bridge of the Waverider.

“Hey.” She greeted, shyly keeping her gaze down. “So I was thinking about the whole GF conversation we had earlier… and-” She raised her gaze and saw who was in front of her. Sara was different. Her hair was white, her eyes dark, her skin too pale to be healthy.

“Wow… You look…” The words had trouble reaching Ava’s mouth the way they left her brain. Then logic took control. “Good! Great! Sometimes these holofeeds can really wash out your skin.”

Sara walked towards her.

“Did you do something different to your hair?” Ava asked. She was trying so hard to understand what she was seeing.

Sara walked through her. That’s when logic stopped working. Logic couldn’t explain Sara’s behaviour and appearance.  _ Something is really wrong. _

Ava changed location. Her hologram reconnected in the Med Bay, where she found the rest of the Legends. 

“What the hell is going on here?” She asked.

Mick was standing too close to her,and that pissed her off.

“Mr. Rory would you please move?” Ava said harshly. He immediately obeyed. 

“Sara’s bonded with the death totem.” Amaya explained.

“What!?”

“We think Mallus tricked her into wearing it.” Nate added.

“Look, the woman on that bridge was not Sara.” Ava said. “All I care about right now is getting her back.”

“We need to find John Constantine.” Amaya said.

_ There’s that name again. Ugh.  _ “The demonologist?”

Nate noticed her dislike in the question. “Yeah I know he wears his tie too loose for my liking, but he’s saved Sara from Mallus before.” he said.

Suddenly Gideon announced the Nostromo Sequence had been activated. Ava’s call was finished and the Legends were left locked inside the Med Bay.

Ava quickly recovered her composure, blew out and called Gary Green. She recruited him to join her on a mission to find John Constantine’s whereabouts, but she didn’t tell him why.  _ Let’s find that jerk and bring Sara back. _

* * *

After finding out John didn’t have a phone, Ava and Gary located him by searching his name on the Time Bureau Database for Possible Threats to the Timeline. Along with some personal information, they found a blurry picture and an address in New York, followed by a question mark.

“John Constantine, aged 36. One older sister, both parents… deceased.” Ava read out loud from her tablet. She and Gary were walking down a hallway in a residential building, in old New York. “Huh… He was part of the New Castle Crew. He accidentally summoned a demon who dragged a child, Astra Logue, into hell. Sounds like a real weirdo.”

“He’s a warlock.” Gary said. “You know, I happen to be a level 9 warlock.”

“Dungeons & Dragons doesn’t count, Gary.”

They suddenly heard a scream. Ava handed Gary the tablet and took out her gun.

“Stay back.” She ordered before walking towards an apartment. “Don’t move, Gary.” Ava kicked the door open. “What the-”

On the other side, she saw a scruffy man and a woman chasing a hen across the room.

“Okay.” Ava said, and put her gun away.

The man saw them. “Do us a favor,give us a hand, will you?” He said.

Ava raised her hands.  _ No way.  _ She watched as Gary was set on a chase too. Surprisingly, he trapped the animal.

“Are you guys from Housing co-op? Because it’s perfectly legal to win an apartment in a duel.” John said.

“We’re here about Sara Lance.” Ava replied coldly.

“Ah.” John nodded. “Right, well, Mrs. Veras, we will have to continue the ritual tomorrow.” He took the hen from Gary and gave it to the woman. “But not to worry,love. We’ll have your son married in no time,all right?” He walked the woman to the door and closed it behind her.

“Now, let me guess. Sara has succumbed to the demon Mallus. I sensed his power growing, but not to worry. I gave Ray very specific instructions to kill her if that ever happened.”

_ What!? This man paced around the living room and sat down comfortably talking about killing my girlfriend!? _

“What!?” Ava couldn’t believe her ears.

“Eggs and omelets, love.” John said. “And extreme measures.”

“Well, I’m here to save Sara. She’s bounded with the death totem.”

“Oh, bollocks!” John exclaimed.

“What does that mean?” Ava asked, concern evident in her voice.

“Oh, it’s a British expletive used to-” Gary started explaining.

“I know what bollocks means, Gary.” Ava said without even looking at him. Her anxiety was increasing. “What did you mean by it?” She asked John.

“Well, about this so-called Death totem… Recently, whilst heavily influenced by ayahuasca,” John started. “I came to learn why the sixth lost tribe of Zambesi was stricken from the oral record. This lost tribe, which had been entrusted to watch over the domain of the dead, sided with Mallus while the other five tribes rallied to imprison him. Perhaps explaining why the death totem is inextricably linked with our demon friend.”  _ This man talks too much. And in the meantime my girlfriend is alone,fighting for her life. _

John stood up and walked into another room, where he kept a lot of candles, all lit up. Ava and Gary followed him. Then the demonologist put on his brown coat.

  
  


“Sara’s soul is likely trapped in Mallus’ realm.” he said, grabbing a candle. “Usually, I’d have to cast the demon into myself to rescue her, but luckily, I already have a link to Sara’s soul.”

Ava looked at him, grossed out in understanding.

“So,” John continued, not noticing Ava’s eyes piercing him. “I’ll enlist Aken, the Egyptian ferryman of the dead.” He lit up the candle in his hand and walked to the middle of a circle on the floor. Then he sat down.

“What do you mean you already have a link to Sara’s soul?” Ava asked.

“Well, let’s just say our souls have been one. Leaves a metaphysical connection, love.”

Ava clenched her fist and hissed. “Don’t call me ‘love’.” She said.

“Oh, pardon me, pet.”

“Sara and I also share a very,  _ very _ strong metaphysical connection, so…” Ava pointed out.

“Wait.” Gary said, smiling in surprise. “I can’t believe… You both slept with Captain Lance?” He whispered the question to Ava.

“Gary.” She scolded him.

“Did we, now?” John asked. “Well then, we both have excellent taste in damaged women.”

“Sara’s not damaged.” Ava said.

“Yeah, and I’m the bloody Pope.”

“You know what? Let’s get on with this.” Ava said, losing her patience. She walked into the circle and sat down next to John.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

“You’re going after Sara, I’m coming with you.”

“To the realm of Mallus?”

_ Anywhere _ . “Start chanting.” Ava ordered.

John sighed. “Very well, give me your hand.”

Ava laughed.

As silence followed, she looked at him. “Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

“Ugh.” Ava complaint, and offered only her index finger for John to hold.

He went into a trance and started chanting, “Mallus, Aken, Ka, Ren, Ba, Ib, Sheut, Mallus Aken Ma’at…” 

The circle around them started glowing and Sara could hear John’s voice from the spirit realm. She heard it extremely loud in her head.

Ava grabbed John’s hand firmly, scared of all the magic she was sensing around her.

“John Constantine.” They heard. “You dare enter my realm?” And suddenly a wave of power hit John and Ava, making them fly a few metres and fall painfully onto the floor.

They quickly stood up, bruised but pissed, especially Ava.

John got another spell book to find a different way to reach Sara. Somehow Gary's socks called the warlock's attention and they started an animated chat about how Gary's aunt loves Beebo and gave him these socks with the toy on them.

Ava lost her temper. "Okay, Sara's soul is trapped in the realm of a demon and her ship and entire crew are lost in time. Who cares about Beebo!?"

"Well his aunt Stacey does." Constantine replied. "You're wound tied as a bloody drum, aren't you, love? Pardon me, pet." He corrected himself. "You know, you need to loosen up, then the work just flows."

"Oh, is that work you're doing? Sorry I couldn't tell."

"There isn't exactly a paint-by-numbers spell to locate a spaceship floating through a temporal stream." John talked back. "My business card says 'Master of the Dark Arts' not 'Doctor Ruddy What's-his-face.'

"Who?" Ava and Gary asked at the same time.

"Exactly."

"What?" Ava asked, confused. _ I am wasting my time _ . "Okay, you know what Gary, let's just get out of here because Mister Constantine has wasted enough of our times." 

John Constantine just ignored Ava and was surprised to have found a foot behind his back, on the couch. "Oh, there you are. You beauty." He said. And he kissed the foot.

Ava lost it once again. "Okay, so you have a foot but you don't have a phone!?" She couldn't control her hands anymore. "I… I just… I really don't understand how Sara could've-"

"What? Shagged me una mental institution?"

"Oh my God!" Ava pressed her hands against her temples.

"And you have nothing to be jealous about, love."

"I'm not jealous!" Ava exclaimed. "I'm just… ugh." She strangled the air in front of her and then dropped onto the couch. "Okay, maybe I'm a little bit jealous."

"Ah, we were just trying to find some calm in the storm." John explained.

"I don't understand. Who sleeps with a warlock and then turns around and starts calling me her girlfriend?"

"She called you her girlfriend?" Gary asked.

"Yeah. And I really wanna believe her."

"But?"

"But I don't think that Sara is really a one-woman woman."

"Well if the price for admission is looking like a fool or getting your heart broken, then well, I'd say Miss Lance is pretty well worth it." John said.

"Huh." Ava was speechless. John really did say something deep and good. "Okay." She calmed down and focused. "Boys, there really has to be a way to find the Waverider."

"I have an idea." Gary said.

And then he explained how all this situation reminded him of a campaign of Dungeons & Dragons.

"Gary, how does any of this help us find Sara and the Legends?" Ava asked when Gary was starting to take too long to get to the point.

"Hey, hey, hey. Let the man finish his story, alright?" John said.

So Gary continued. Turned out the information he shared was useful. In reality, just as in the game, the only way to defeat the death totem was using the other totems. Also the only way to find the Waverider was to track the death totem.

John started gathering all the ingredients he needed for his spell, naming them.

"...and from you, Ava, I'm going to need-"

"Please, don't say it."

"-the foot." John said.

Ava reluctantly picked up the foot with two fingers and placed it on the desk.

"Sorry, can we just pretend for a moment that I have no idea what you two are doing?" Ava asked.

"Well just like Gary said, the easiest way to locate the Legends' ship is to locate the death totem." Constantine explained. Or tried to. Then he swallowed some disgusting liquid and spit hundreds of sparks in the air. A multidimensional map formed in front of their eyes, now they had to wait just a few more minutes for the tracking spell to accomplish the mission.

* * *

In the Spirit realm, Sara covered her ears, overwhelmed by the voices echoing loudly. 

"Sara, stop." Zari begged. She was being choked by death-totem-Sara in the Waverider. She had already defeated Ray, Amaya and Wally.

"Stop!!" Sara screamed from the Spirit realm. She momentarily took control of her evil self.

"You're hurting me." Zari said.

But Sara also heard another voice, closer, behind her.

"Impressive." It was Nora. "But no one can fight Mallus forever." She said.

On cue, Sara lost control of herself again. The captain of the Legends turned around to face Nora, and then followed her. It wasn't the first time that the two of them met like this, taken by Mallus at the same time. 

"You know, it's a shame that you had to join the family business." Sara said. "You were a sweet kid."

"Last time we were here I was a little girl, but I was never sweet. Your friend, Oliver, made sure of that when he killed my father."

"Oliver's not responsible for the path that you chose."

"You're right." Nora said. "You see Sara, you and I, we're alike. The darkness has always been within us."

A freezing breeze reaching the back of her neck startled Sara. She turned around to find a scene that had been buried in her memories for a long time.

She saw herself, standing in front of a man.

"Please." He begged. "Ra's Al Ghul will never know you let me live…"

Sara, devoid of all emotion, threw a knife that stabbed him on the chest. That was her job. 

But there was a reason why that memory had been hidden from her. A desperate scream resonated around Sara when a little girl, dressed in yellow, came running towards her dad. And she kneeled next to him, hoping he would wake up.

The girl locked eyes with hers that day, just for a second. And she had often haunted her dreams ever since.

_ That is not me. Not anymore. Or am I? I am still that monster. I'll always be that horrible person who killed that girl's father in front of her eyes and didn't feel a thing. Those who get close to me get hurt. Look at my crew, being defeated one by one, right now, on our ship. Once a killer, always a killer. _

Sara felt some tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying, Sara? You've done nothing wrong." Nora said. "Imagine what you could do if you just released your guilt. You can't erase your past, Sara, so just embrace it."

Nora was walking around her while speaking. Sara felt confused and overwhelmed. Her thoughts, Nora, the things she knew her evil self was doing on the Waverider… it was too much.

"You want me to join your team."

"It's your destiny." Nora stopped walking and stood in front of Sara. "Eons ago, the sixth tribe of Zambesi defended Mallus from their brethren. Their tribe wielded the Death Totem. Now the cycle's starting again. You weren't just born to wield the Death Totem, Sara. You were born to wield the Death Totem for Mallus."

_ It makes sense. A monster born to serve a monster. Everything I've been through in my life has led to this moment. Deep down I knew it. I enjoyed playing a hero but I'll never really be one. Not a hero, not a captain. Just a killer. _

Meanwhile, Ava, John and Gary finally made it to the Waverider. Their portal opened just in front of Sara's evil version and Constantine started chanting a spell right away. Ava threw some holly water at her. It seemed to be working but just for a few seconds. Sara stood back up and spoke with the voice of Mallus. He spoke to John, pretending to be Astra, the little girl he once sent to hell by mistake. Mallus offered a trade. Astra's soul in exchange for Sara's.

"I want to speak to Sara!" Ava demanded, taking a few steps forward. Her voice was shaken. 

Mallus sent both Gary and Ava away with a single movement of Sara's hands, leaving only John standing.

Constantine pretended to believe everything and reached out to take Sara's hand. He agreed to free Astra from hell and leave Sara to Mallus. Of course he knew that wasn't possible, so as soon as he grabbed her hand, he took out a cross and demanded Mallus to free Sara from his prison.

His voice resonated in the Spirit realm, taking Sara out of her thoughts. They were still fighting for her. 

The rest of the Legends were activating the Fire totem, using Mick as a wielder. Malls sensed the power so Sara left John right there, hurt, and went to find the totem. Malls needed to destroy them.

She was late though, Mick was already using the totem and he sent a fireball her way. Evil Sara lost consciousness.

"Sara!" Ava exclaimed, running at her. "Sara? Sara?"

Her voice also resonated in the Spirit realm, around Sara. 

"Does Ava know who you really are, Sara?" Nora asked. "What you've done. What are you going to tell her? That the totem was wrong? You aren't a killer?"

On the Waverider, Ava took the death totem and threw it as far from Sara as possible.

Sara felt it.

"The totem's power is within you, Sara. All you have to do is decide." Nora kept talking. "A life free of pain and regret with us… or the tormented half-life you're living now."

"Sara. I know you're still in there." Ava said. She was crying. "You are the strongest, most fearless person I've ever met, and you never back down. Don't you remember? When did a legend ever go quietly?" 

Ava was quoting her own words. Back then, when Sara and the Ava fought against each other, the captain had said those words. She had said those words to a woman who hated her, because of what she'd heard and read about her. To a woman who, in spite of that, remembers them. Because Ava could see, even back then, that Sara was much more than a killer.

"I'm here. I'm here, Sara. And I need you to come back to me. I need you to come home." Then Ava put her hand on Sara's chest, just like she had done after that nightmare. "Sara, can't you feel me?" She asked.

And Sara felt her.

"No." She said, facing Nora.

"You're making a mistake."

"No to a life without pain or regret." Sara kept talking. "No to being a demon's lackey, and no to bringing more death into this world. I owe that little girl at least that."

"You could have everything."

_ I already do _ . Sara thought, walking away.

She recovered control of her body and the first thing she found was Ava's beautiful blue eyes, filled with tears.

"You saved me again." Sara said smiling.

"I had a little help." Ava replied. They looked around and smiled at the members of the crew, all bruised and hurt, but happy to have Sara back.

Ava hugged the captain, and she let herself sink in the warmth of the embrace. After that, Ava whispered she would go inform the Bureau about Mallus, if that was okay, so they could talk after Sara had a word with her friends and a shower. Sara nodded, whispering a thank you.

After a very much needed shower to ease her tension, Sara went to the parlor to have a very much needed drink. John was there.

They talked for a while, Sara asked him if he would have really traded Astra for her. 

"In a heartbeat." He said. "What can I say? I'm a nasty piece of work."

"So am I." Sara said, remembering her thoughts inside the Spirit realm with sadness.

"You survived, love."

"For now."

"You know, there's a reason why I prefer to walk this path alone." John said. "It's so I don't have to share with anyone how lost I really am. But you're not alone, are you Sara?"

"Maybe I should be."

"She's a good one. Try not to hurt her."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

_ I don't want to hurt Ava dragging her into my life of torment and regret, she doesn't deserve to suffer seeing how lost I really am. _

John left soon after, and Sara stopped by the Med Bay to see her crew. She apologized to them, and they welcomed her back. 

When Sara walked into her room, she found Ava sitting on the bed, waiting for her. She wanted to check in, see how her girlfriend was feeling. Sara's stomach hurt.

"Hey." Ava said.

"Hey." Sara sighed. "We need to talk."

"No good conversation ever started that way." Ava's stomach hurt.

"Ava, I'm sorry-"

"Listen. I can't pretend to understand what you went through… or what happened to you, but I know that wasn't you, Sara."

"That's just it. That was me." Sara replied. "Just like fire is to Rory, there is a part of me that… it's always been there. And I really tried to pretend that that wasn't true. But deep down… I am death." Sara's eyes were filling with tears speaking her fears.

"No… Sara… Okay, so we can fight that part of you together." Ava reached out to gently brush a strand of Sara's hair behind her ear. "Just tell me what to do."

Sara pushed Ava's hand away. "Hey. Ava, you read my file."

"But I still showed up at that restaurant in that horribly uncomfortable dress trying to impress you, because I don't care about your past, Sara-"

"Well maybe you should." Sara's tone was harsher than intended. She noticed Ava's eyes filling with tears as well, and cupped her cheek. "You are wonderful." She said softly. "And I've… And I've never been this happy in my life." She was trying so hard not to cry. 

"But this doesn't look happy." Ava said.

"Look, I don't deserve you."

"Yes Sara, yes, you do."

"No, Ava. I don't." Sara's tone got harsh once again. "You deserve better. You deserve so much better. And I care about you, but… I'm not gonna do this. I won't."

"Sara…"

"I'm sorry."

Sara turned her back on Ava, she just couldn't watch her cry. That was what she had been trying to avoid in the first place, hurting Ava. She regretted everything in that very next second. The only thought of losing Ava was devastating. She had spoken her truth, for the first time. Yes, the truth about being a killer forever, but also the truth about being as happy as she had never been before. With Ava.

Sara turned around to undo the harm, but Ava was already gone. A portal had taken her away.

Feeling deeply sad, Sara dropped onto her bed, on Ava's side. Her hand touched something under the pillow, it was a note, handwritten in a beautiful way.

_ This spot reserved for the girlfriend of Sara Lance. _

The captain of the Legends heard her annoying thoughts again.  _ See? You hurt everyone around you, even when you try not to. _

She decided to shut them up with some work out.


	11. The one about Ava's truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers part after episode 3x15 and also episode 3x16

Ava took another shower. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't stay still. Her mind was spiraling into a void of nonsense, and everything that revolved around it was sadness.

She had never felt this amount of sadness before…Well there was that time when her best friend lied to her… or that other time when her ex decided it was better to break up with her… yet none of those times were as intense as this one.

If she explored the sadness a bit, she could even find disappointment, guilt, anger… it was too much to handle.

Letting the water caress her skin, Ava thought again about the events of the previous day. Sara had been turned into a monster who tried to kill her friends. Ava had gone all the way to find Sara's… to find John Constantine. Not even John Constantine could bring Sara back from Mallus' claws. Ava could. 

_I brought her back home, because I love her… and then she dumped me._

Ava couldn't really understand feelings, even though she was trying so hard. She didn't understand why Sara would be in love with her and yet break up… she couldn't understand why Sara would say she had never been happier in her life and yet…

Ava shook her head. She really really wanted Sara to be happy. She wished Sara would embrace her evolution and realize that, even though she was a killer in the past, that is only one part of the amazing person she has become.

With a sigh, Ava turned off the shower and grabbed a towel stepping out. She allowed herself a few minutes of silence, ignoring the turmoil in her head while getting dressed.

* * *

Sara opened her eyes and blinked a couple of times, grunting. She had left the lights on. She had been working out until who knows what time in the morning… and when she finally got to her room she had fallen asleep instantly out of exhaustion.

Sara reached her phone to look at the time. It was 1pm. She got distracted by a note on her night table. It was Ava's sweet note, saving her spot in Sara's bed… The captain didn't find the courage to throw it away. It had Ava's handwriting on it… well, it had Ava's heart on it.

Sara closed her eyes and a few tears escaped from them. She curled up, defenseless.

Sara loved Ava. And she honestly believed it was the very first time she felt authentic, pure love. Before Ava, Sara had been learning a lot about family, friends, and herself, in a way. But it wasn't until Ava came into her life, that she could find a whole new world hidden inside her. A world full of possibilities to grow. Sara had never been happier.

And then Ava shows her once again that love can be more powerful than any magic… she saved her from Mallus twice. 

But Sara saw Ava's face, her nose red and the tears on her cheeks. Reality hit her with the ugly truth that she was a monster who didn't deserve love. And Ava didn't deserve to waste her love and precious tears on someone like her.

So there it went, it was over. It was for the best.

* * *

Ava landed in Vegas. She took her small suitcase and found a cab. The hotel was pretty and as soon as she walked in they offered some free shows to attend. Ava wasn't in the mood, though. She went straight to her bedroom and sat next to the window to admire the view.

She decided to go to Las Vegas because it was a place that brought memories of good times… and also because she was hoping that all the bright lights, casinos and crowded places would somehow distract her mind from the pain.

Ava's ex was from Vegas.

Again, she couldn't quite recall why they broke up, she only seemed to have good memories from her and a sense of sweet friendship remained. In fact, she was the only person who could actually be considered her friend. So Ava called her.

But nobody picked up the phone.

Ava spent two days enjoying the swimming pool, the casino, a couple of shows, and swiping up and down the new dating app she had downloaded. She didn't really have any interest in it. Maybe she just wanted to see if other people would consider her attractive, despite feeling awful inside.

It didn't take long for her to delete the app and accept her feelings. _This hurts because I love Sara. Love is too hard to find, I won't be the one who pushes it away. I'll let it stay._

Soon, Ava felt her mind slowing down. 

* * *

Sara packed her bag and walked out of her room. She walked by the galley and announced she was leaving for a while. A moment later Ray, Amaya and Nate were following her down the hallways. 

"But Sara, are you just... walking out on the team?" 

"I am not just walking out on the team, Ray."

"She says, as she's literally walking away." Nate said.

"Sara, we appreciate that you may need a break after what happened with the death totem, but this is the absolute worst time for you to leave." Amaya said.

"At least let us lock you up in the brig, we need you here now more than ever."

"Yeah we've almost won the totem race." Ray added.

"Which is exactly why I need to go." Sara said, stopping her tracks to face her friends. "Look, we are so close to gaining control over the six totems and getting the upper hand on Mallus. I just… I need a day to clear my head."

Sara put Amaya in charge of the ship and turned again to leave.

Ray followed her.

"Look, Sara, for what it's worth. I know it wasn't the real you who tried to kill us." He said.

Sara stopped to face him. "That's just it, Ray. It was the real me. Which is why I need to-"

A sound interrupted her words. She turned around to find Gary stepping out of a portal with his eyes closed.

"Miss Lance? It's Gary. Sorry to drop in on you like this." He almost crashed against a wall.

"What are you doing? Open your eyes, Gary."

"Oh. Hi. Sorry." Gary said. "I didn't want to accidently portal into your quarters and catch you and Director Sharpe, you know… together." He accompanied the words rolling his hands.

Sara sighed. "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore because we broke up."

"Wait, what? Why didn't you tell us?" Ray asked.

"No, no, you guys can't break up! I was shipping you so hard!" 

"That's why you're leaving." Ray pointed out.

"That is not why I'm leaving." Sara lied. "And if you're looking for Ava, I suggest you check her office."

"Um, well that's the thing." Gary said in a worried tone of voice. "She hasn't been to work in a few days, which is very unlike her. I've already been covering for her, I forged her signature twice. What am I supposed to do next? Put on a wig and pantsuit and pretend I'm her?" 

"No. Don't do that." 

"What if she's in trouble?" Gary continued. "I mean, we already lost Director Bennett, what if Grodd got to her too? Oh my God, oh my God!!"

Ray tried to calm Gary suggesting deep breaths. The truth is Sara was feeling just like Gary. 

_Okay, calm down Sara. I'm sure she's fine, but maybe I can find her and… you know, just get it out of my mind. It's not that I really care._ She lied to herself.

"Don't worry, Gary. Because we're gonna find her." 

" _We_ are going to find her?" Ray asked with a smirk.

Just a few minutes later, the three of them were stepping into Ava's office, in Star City. Ray hacked the Bureau's network to find Ava's personal file, but he discovered it had been recently deleted remotely, from the Waverider. 

Sara found a bin and emptied the content on the desk. She found a birthday card from Ava's parents.

Suddenly a very bad feeling washed over her. Something was wrong.

Sara, Ray and Gary used a portal to get to Ava's parents house in Fresno.

"Well, this isn't exactly how I imagined meeting Ava's parents." Sara said. "Not that I imagined meeting Ava's parents, I just..." She lied.

A woman and a man, formally dressed, opened the door.

"How can I help you?" The woman said.

Sara said they were friends of their daughter, and Ray added that they were a little worried because she hadn't showed up for work in a few days.

The Sharpes invited them inside, and they sat on the couches.

The room was full of decorations, mostly picture frames.

"You have so many photos of her." Sara pointed out. "Where was that taken?"

Mrs. Sharpe looked at the picture. "Oh, that was at the Grand Canyon." She answered.

Sara's red flags were waving violently inside her head. Something was off, and she was going to find out what it was. Sara stood up and walked around the room, scanning the pictures.

"Such a beautiful family. Almost… too good to be true." She said.

Ray offered her a snickerdoodle, which she rejected.

"What about this photo?" She picked up one and showed it to Mrs. Sharpe. "Where was this one?"

"Oh, yes. That's Ava's 15th birthday party." Mrs. Sharpe said. "She had friends in for a sleepover. They stayed up all night long watching horror movies."

They all laughed.

"Sleepover, really?" Sara asked. Her efforts to remain calm were so evident.

"Yes, I remember it well." Mrs. Sharpe said.

"Well, I know for a fact Ava went paintballing for her 15th birthday." Sara said in a stone cold tone of voice. 

Mr. Sharpe laughed uncomfortably. "Oh, Pam meant her 16th birthday. She always gets that part mixed up."

Sara couldn't take it anymore. She took out a knife out of her sleeve and pressed it on Mrs. Sharpe's neck. 

"Who the hell are you guys!?" Sara asked.

And then the couple explained. They were just actors. Four years ago, they had responded to an add, they had given them backstories for their characters and told them if Ava ever came around for a visit they would have to act like her parents.

They didn't know who hired them, they only knew they got money every month for doing the job.

Sara apologized about the knife reaction saying it's just a gut reaction, nothing personal. Ray and Gary said goodbye to the confused actors.

Back at the Bureau, Ray keeps saying out loud what Sara is thinking. "What kind of person invents a family and a backstory?"

"If she's been lying about where she's from, there's no telling about what else she-" Sara's words were interrupted by the sight of Ava. The blonde was walking toward them, wearing sunglasses.

When Ava saw Sara, she stopped her tracks and took off her glasses.

"Sara. What are you doing here?"

"Um…" Sara struggled to find the words. It wasn't only the fact that she didn't expect to find Ava in her office, but also she didn't expect to look into those beautiful blue eyes ever again. "Gary was worried that you were missing, so… naturally, we were concerned and thought that we would investigate it further." She bent the truth.

"Well clearly I'm no longer missing, so."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine." Ava faked a smile. "Don't I look fine?" Clearly she didn't. She looked deeply hurt.

"Where have you been?" Gary asked.

"If you must know, I… Gary, straighten your tie." Ava got distracted for a moment, buying some time to come up with a lie, before she continued. "I was visiting my parents in Fresno. Home-cooked meals and all."

"Fresno? Hmmm" Sara said.

"Nothing like a tray of snickerdoodles." Ray said. "Well I mean, any other kind of cookie, to mend a broken heart."

"You know what? I have a lot of work to do. I'm sure you two can see yourselves out." Ava said, and walked away hitting her shoulder against Sara's.

Sara knew this would happen, so she didn't miss the chance to take Ava's time courier from her wrist in a fast move.

"You okay? No one likes grinning into their ex." Ray said.

"I'm fine. And like I said, let's find out what else she's hiding from us."

What started as a search for Ava's whereabouts _just in case_ she was in trouble… You know, so Sara could take the possibility out of her mind… was turning into a quest for the truth. In Sara's logic, _maybe_ if she found out that Ava wasn't really the person she loved, that she was a liar… maybe that way it would be easier to walk away.

Ray, Sara and Gary connected the time courier to a computer, in order to find all the places where Ava had opened a portal.

They found that her first mission had been in Vancouver in the year 2213, and since then, the trips to that place were forbidden.

Not even the Waverider could get there, only the Director from the mother ship could override the restriction.

Of course, Sara, Ray and Gary stole the ship and headed there.

Once they arrived, they were greeted by a beautiful rainbow in the sky. The city was clean, futuristic and full of people. 

Gary and Ray weren't sure about this mission.

"Maybe we should just ask Ava what her connection is to this place." Ray said.

"Why? She's just gonna lie to us again." Sara replied.

"Well if you wanna ask her, that's your chance." Ray said, looking over Sara's shoulder.

Sara turned around and saw Ava walking distractedly. And then another one. And another one, and another one.

The street was full of Avas, walking by, giving directions to people, taking care of babies or directing traffic. 

"What kind of world is this?" Ray asked.

"Paradise?" Gary said.

"I'm surrounded by my exes, Gary. This is hell." Sara replied.

Ray smirked, he didn't believe Sara's attempt to sound annoyed, not for a second.

"I had a dream like this once." Gary said.

"Yeah, me too, but mine involved less clothing." Sara said.

"Mine too!"

Ray decided to step into the conversation and take it in another direction. "Well I guess this is why they declared 2213 a no-fly zone. Director Sharpe didn't want us to find out that she's secretly a robot."

"I did not have sex with a robot."

"No, you didn't Sara. You had sex with a clone." Ray said. He stopped to watch a big sign.

There they could see the word CLONE, and pictures of Ava dressed in different clothes, each with a series of features detailed next to them. A voice came out of the sign, _"Here at Advanced Variant Automation, we are working to bring a brighter future. Our cloning program has produced the AVA. AVA is the perfect woman, designed to keep us safe and restore order to the chaos."_

"It makes sense they cloned Ava…She is the perfect woman."

"Oh calm down Gary, she's… okay." Sara lied.

She needed more information, she needed to increase her anger about Ava's lies. They were not done yet, so they walked towards the AVA Corporation Center.

Inside, they sneaked around a corner and followed the signs toward the 'staff only' rooms. Everything was mostly white and silver, a huge lab.

There was a body on a gurney, covered with sheets.

Ray grabbed a tablet and touched the screen. They looked up and saw a big silver sphere. In the middle of it, an AVA was being created.

"How is this even possible?" Sara asked.

"Looks like they created Ava from what, they believe, are the best genes around the world to make a perfect woman… Though she's a little pale if you ask me." Ray said.

Sara walked closer to the gurney and removed the sheets from AVA's face. She appeared to be sleeping. 

"I should have known she was too good to be true." Sara said, almost to herself. Her anger was dissipating, giving its place to sadness…

"That doesn't mean that what you guys had wasn't real."

"That is exactly what it means. Everything that she's told me about her has been a lie-"

Gary interrupted their conversation. When they turned around to see what was scaring Gary, they saw the AVA was now awake and sat on the gurney, looking at them.

"You are in violation of bylaw 575. You do not have clearance to be in this room." AVA said.

"We were just leaving." Sara said with a smile.

"Just let us go, it'll be fine." Ray added.

AVA got out of the gurney, took off her monitoring bracelet and walked towards them with her hands behind her back.

"If I let you go, I have to let everyone go." She said. "You must be terminated."

"Uh, I think she wants to kill us." Gary said.

"You don't say." Sara replied. Her eyes were pinned to AVA's, she was waiting for her next move. Honestly, part of that was league of assassins training, but another part was knowing her ex's fighting skills. It seemed some of those were programmed.

AVA attacked and Sara was deep in thought, so even though she wanted to be ready, it took her by surprise. Anyway, she quickly recovered and hit AVA with the tablet Ray had been holding next to her.

"Alright. Tie her up, before she comes too." Sara said, trying to catch her breath. "This is so weird."

Gary found a chair and tied AVA to it. He was speaking all the time, making Sara even more uncomfortable.

"Gary, stop talking to it." She ordered.

"Sara, she isn't an 'it'" Ray said. "She's a real person. They all are. Our Ava is just an anachronism somehow displaced 200 year in the past, AKA our present."

"I know. I mean, I get it… why would she tell me she comes from a place where she's just one of a million copies?" 

In that moment, Ava opened a portal and stepped out of it, into the lab.

"There you are." She said.

"Oh God, another one?" Said Gary.

"Gary, that's our Ava." Ray whispered.

"What does he mean, 'another one'?"

"Don't mind Gary." 

Ava smirked, anger evident in her expression. "You know, it's interesting I would have found you sooner, except I seem to have misplaced my time courier." She looked directly at Sara. Both women held their look, saying more than was intended. "What are you three doing in 2213?" Ava asked.

"We are investigating an anachronism." Ray answered.

"An anachronism, really? What is this place, anyway?" Ava asked looking around.

Sara lost it. "Oh come on, Ava! The jig's up, we know!"

"What are you talking about?" Ava said, genuinely confused.

Then she saw the sphere, and after that she saw the AVA standing inside it. After a 'oh my God' she fainted, her back hitting the floor.

Sara immediately ran to help her.

"Well, maybe she's not a card-carrying member of the clone club, after all." Ray said.

After making sure Ava was not bleeding, Sara stood up, more confused than ever.

"This is terrible." She whispered to Ray.

"Okay, can we just tell her the truth?"

"That, what? She was hatched in a government lab? God this whole time I thought that she was hiding who she was, but clearly she had no idea she was a clone. Did you see the way she reacted?" 

By now, Ava had recovered her consciousness and Gary was talking her ears off. She didn't remember anything after stepping out of the portal.

Suddenly, they heard a noise. Sara, Ray and Gary tried to prevent Ava from finding the source, but she did anyway. 

The chair where they had previously tied up the AVA was now empty.

"Thank God, she's gone." Gary said.

"Who's gone?" Ava asked.

"We gotta get out of here before that fembot sounds the alarm." Sara said.

"Fembot?" Ava whispered.

They hurried to find the exit. 

"Sara, listen, I really need to confess something to you." Ava said.

"Can we do this later?" Sara whispered.

"No, listen. I wasn't really visiting my parents in Fresno. I don't even know why I said that, I never visit my parents, they're like strangers to me."

"You don't say."

"But when we broke up I actually called my ex in Vegas. I'm so ashamed. But it's worse than that, alright?" Ava stopped walking to face Sara. "I created an UpSwipz profile. And I actually went really overboard on the swiping. It really is more intuitive to go up and down, but that's not even the point." Ava usually talked too much, too fast when she got nervous. "The point is I realized that it's not for me, okay? And look, I know that we aren't together anymore, Sara. But I really just felt like I needed to be honest with you."

Ava noticed that Sara wasn't looking at her, and neither were Ray or Gary.

"Great, now you all hate me. Not that I blame you..." She started. Sara's eyes found hers again, and there was pain in them. "Can you please stop looking at me like that? I can't take it." 

"Ava… look, it's not you, it's…" Sara sighed. "It's them." She looked over Ava's shoulder.

In the middle of the room, there were 20 AVAs in full gear to terminate them.

The Legends hid around a corner before the clones spotted them.

Ava was terrified. "What the hell are those things and why do they all look like me?"

Sara looked at Ray for support.

"Short version, you're a clone." Ray said.

"I'm a clone? From the future? What are you- I'm a future clone thing!?" Ava held Ray by the collar of his jacket.

Sara gently pulled her back and motioned for her to lower her voice.

"It's okay, director Sharpe. Gary will take care of everything." Gary said, attempting to use the memory flasher on her.

"No." Ava muttered, and pushed it away.

Sara glared at Gary. "She deserves to know."

Ava looked at the other clones. "I don't understand, this can't be happening." She said. "You're saying I'm one of them?"

"Hey, look." Sara said, forgetting the anger. "This might be where you're from, but it is not who you are."

"Then who the hell am I?"

And Sara remembered all that Ava is. "You are the same person that you have always been. You are the woman who has worked all her way to the top to becoming the head of the Time Bureau. You are extraordinary."

"No. My life, my memories…They're all manufactured… They're not real. I'm not even real."

"Ava, you are real. You are as real as I feel about you." 

Ava felt a lump in her throat. "How can you even say that when I'm just one of those things?"

"Because I know you. And I know that you are a badass. And you are different." Sara said. "And now that we both know that, I need you to act exactly like one of those clones if we wanna get out of here."

Ava took a deep breath and with one last glance at the clones, she made a decision. They found a black suit just like the ones the AVAs were wearing. Ava put on the suit and walked into the room pointing a gun at Sara, Ray and Gary.

"I've apprehended the intruders." She said. "I'll escort them from the premises and terminate them. Move!" They walked by the clones without being stopped. They were almost out of the room when the AVA who was previously tied up arrived, holding a gun. She ordered them not to move.

"This one's a fake. She's not one of us. Step forward." AVA said. "You are to be reprocessed immediately."

Ava waited for the right moment and attacked the clone. She didn't even see it coming.

"That feel fake to you?" Ava said.

She shot another two clones, and Sara stopped a third one to hit Ava. Back to back, Sara told her "Stay close. I don't want to lose you in this crowd." And that's all the encouragement Ava needed.

"Is this as weird for you as it is for me?" Ava asked Sara, after knocking out a couple of clones together.

"I've had messier breakups." Sara lied.

Once all the clones were down, Ray said they should go back to the ship before more of them show up.

The first AVA showed up again.

Ava sighed. "You were right, Sara. I'm never gonna be a mindless clone." She said. And she ran towards the clone and kicked it in the stomach. "I'm keeping the suit." She added.

Once back on the Waverider, the four of them were walking down the hallway.

"Gary, you cannot tell anyone about what you saw in 2213. If you do, I will straight up kill you."

"But I'm terrible at keeping secrets, and every time I close my eyes all I see is you. I'll never get it out of my head."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Gary." Sara said. 

Ray grabbed Gary by the shoulder and took him to the Med Bay, to flash his memory.

Sara took Ava to the parlor, and invited her to sit down while she poured them both a drink.

"Are you alright?" Sara asked.

"You know, maybe you should wipe my memory too." Ava said. "How am I supposed to face the Time Bureau now, knowing what I know about myself?"

"Same way that I face my team." Sara realized they both shared the same fear, now that they both saw the truth about themselves… and she remembered how she tried to take a break. "We don't have the luxury of running away and hiding. Not with the fight we have ahead of us. Our team's gonna need us to lead them through this."

"There must be some reason that I don't remember anything about 2213. Anything about being a clone." Ava said, standing up and facing Sara.

"I'm sure there is." Sara said. "Who recruited you for the Bureau?"

"Rip." Ava answered, pouring more whiskey in her glass.

"Well, I bet you that entire bottle he's the one who wiped your file from the Bureau and put 2213 off limits."

The realization hit Ava like a hammer. "Why would he do that to me?"

"I don't know. But we're gonna find out."

* * *

\---------- _Bonus------------_

\--Sara's dream--

_Sara was walking through a beautiful castle. The sun sent warm sensations through her skin and she sang aloud. Every now and then she tried a dance move and smiled. Her light white dress danced to the breeze too._

_When she turned a corner, her girlfriend Ava was waiting for her, with a tray of fruits. Sara approached, took an apple and bit it giggling. Ava giggled too, and took Sara's hand. She left the tray floating in the air and they both continued walking down the hallway._

_The only sounds were their footsteps and the songs they were singing while laughing._

_Soon they arrived into a big room, which Sara knew in the dream was her room. That's where Ava suddenly had less clothes on… in fact, she was only wearing a silky blue dress that left very little space for imagination._

_Sara felt a lot of things at once, all good, beautiful, warm things._

_Another giggle called her attention, and then another one and another one… she looked around to find more Avas, all dressed the same but in different colours. They all walked closer to Sara and cornered her towards the bed…_

She woke up some time later, her heart pumping fast. She said "What the f-"


	12. The one that doesn't stand to reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers episode 3x17

“Who am I?” Ava was asking herself again and again, looking blankly at the ceiling.

“Who am I?” She hadn’t even bothered to change her clothes, not even taken her shoes off, before dropping on her bed hours ago.

 _Where do I come from? Which ones are my dreams? Which ones are my memories? What have I really lived? What have I seen? What do I really fear? Who have I loved? What have I lost?_ “WHO AM I?”

Her phone rang.

“Hey” Sara ventured from the other side of the line. Ava couldn't find her voice to say anything, but a smile formed on her lips. “How are you?” Sara asked softly.

Ava cleared her throat. “I just… I don’t think I’m ready to face Rip yet.”

“That’s okay”

“Is it?”

“Of course it is.”

Silence followed and reigned for a few seconds. It was comfortable, they were keeping each other company, speaking a different language…

Sara sighed. “Look, maybe you could come here later and we can focus on the mission?”

“You’re right, Sara. I need to focus on the mission and clear my head… See you later.”

* * *

Some time later, Ava walked into the Waverider to find Sara in the parlor. 

“Hey.” They greet each other.

Sara noticed that Ava’s expression was cold and distant. Her boss-persona had taken over, lifting a protective wall around her, hiding all vulnerabilities and hurt. 

The captain felt her heart squeezed, wishing she could just step over their fears and hold Ava in her arms. Soothe her, show her that everything would be okay, tell her that she would never leave her alone…

Instead, she said, “Ava… before we focus on the mission I wanted to let you know… I wanted to show… You’re strong and brave, okay? You can confront Rip. Whenever you-”

The conversation was interrupted by Nate, running into the Bridge, calling everybody and shouting a code. Sadly he found out nobody read his memo with the codes, so he had to explain the problem was that someone stole the jumpship.

Amaya was missing, so Zari quickly checked the computer records and saw that the jumpship had been taken to Zambesi 1992,just before the warlords attacked Amaya’s village.

The team evaluated the situation.

If Amaya saved her village from destruction, history would be changed. That would mean that Mallus would finally be able to escape his prison because time would break… again.

Sara decided it was best to stop Amaya, but before she could plot a course to Zambesi Gideon announced an urgent call from Rip Hunter.

Sara glanced at Ava. “You good?” She asked.

Ava nodded. “Gideon,put him on.”

As Rip asked for backup dealing with Grodd to save Barack Obama, the Waverider was hit by several time waves. 

“Alright guys, we’re dealing with two anachronisms now. Zambesi and young Obama. Wally, Nate, I want you guys to go talk some sense into Amaya.” 

Zari offered to find a loophole that could help Amaya to save her village without breaking time.

“Alright, do it. The rest of us, we’re on Obamacare.” Sara said.

They didn’t find it hard to shrink Grodd and put him in a jar. What the team didn’t know yet, was the significance of this event somewhere else.

Nora Darhk had already begun to surrender her existence to Mallus. In fact, for a couple of minutes, Mallus had materialized in his true form, and Nora had been gone.

Damien Darhk finally understood the consequences of letting Nora bring Mallus back. Damien’s precious daughter would no longer be with him. 

“Alright, crisis averted.” Sara said while walking back to the ship after flashing Barack’s memory.

But she was wrong. Damien Darhk appeared in front of her, asking for help.

The Legends took him inside the Waverider. Ray found a grimoire Constantine had left in the ship, and convinced Mick to help him draw a protective spell on the floor around Darhk. Of course nobody trusted him, but he brought the Water totem as proof of his good intentions. He told the Legends that he realized his partnership with Mallus would cost him Nora. He wanted to join forces with the Legends to stop the demon and save his daughter. 

“I know this might rankle you a bit, Sara, but our interests are aligned. We can save Nora and stop Mallus from being freed, together.”

All eyes turned to the captain.

“No.” She said.

“Excuse me?”

“Rory, kill him.”

Ray stopped Mick, saying the love Damien had for his daughter was real. Then Rip said that Darhk should be incarcerated at the Bureau and not killed. Ava agreed.

“Boss?” Mick asked, still aiming at Damien with his gun.

“Stand down.” Sara said. It took all her will to say that. She walked away.

“I’m glad to see you came to your senses.” Darhk said.

“If you think this makes us straight, you’re wrong.”

Sara walked to the parlor, her safe place. She poured herself a glass of liquor and sat on the couch in search of some peace of mind.

Ava couldn’t help following her. “Yes, please go and talk some sense into her.” Rip said while she walked away.

“Are you okay?” Ava asked, not used to seeing Sara like that.

“The hardest thing I ever had to do in my life was let Darhk live. And now he’s back, and it is taking every ounce of self-control not to kill him… And I keep asking myself why.” Sara said.

Ava nodded in understanding. The longing to take care of Sara came back. She crossed her arms and said, “For the good of the mission.”

“For the good of the mission.” Sara repeated. “Listen to yourself. You sound like some government-”

“Clone?”

“I was gonna say stiff.”

“You know, Rip thought I could talk some sense into you, but maybe-”

“Wait.” Sara cut her off. “You’re here because of Rip? Why would you do anything for that man?” Sara walked toward Ava. “Ava, he lied to you. He implanted false memories into your head. He hired actors to pretend to be your parents. I mean, what more is it gonna take to get you to confront him?” 

“I am prioritizing the mission over my own personal baggage. You and your team should try it sometime.” Ava was making a huge effort to keep her walls from collapsing right there and then.

Sara turned around, boiling with indignation. “No, that’s not what you’re doing.” She said. “You’re covering because you’re afraid of what you might find out.”

“What else is there to find out, Sara? I’m one of thousands, I was grown in a lab.”

“There has to be more to the story, Ava, and you deserve to know. Look you need-” Sara stopped talking because she saw Rip was approaching. “You need to talk to Rip now.” She whispered.

As soon as the former captain of the Waverider walked into the parlor, cold silence filled the air. Ava pretended to be in deep observation of the Globe, and Sara just crossed her arms awaiting his words.

Rip saw the glass in Sara’s hand and decided to get a drink for himself. 

Ava and Sara glanced at each other in what seemed to be the conversation that follows: _-Tell him that you know. -I won’t. -But you deserve to know. -I am scared._

“Everything good, director Sharpe?” Rip asked with his eyes still focused on his glass.

“Peachy” Ava answered with a fake smile.

“Are we good to transport Mr.Darhk back to the Bureau?”

“No, Rip. We’re not.” Sara said. and she walked away.

“Where are you going?” Rip asked.

“To go talk to someone who can think straight when the whole world has gone crazy.”

So off she went, to have a conversation with young Obama. She told him everything about what was going on, and he gave her an interesting point of view, suggesting that the Legends should take the lead in the situation.

When Sara went back to the ship she spoke to Damien Darhk. “I want you to listen to me carefully. I don’t believe for a second that you’ve changed. You’re still the same cowardly son of a bitch that put an arrow in my sister. But I will work with you to defeat Mallus under one condition. After this is over, I’m putting you back in the ground where you belong.”

“Deal” Darhk said. And they shook hands.

The team then agreed on a plan to get Nora Darhk into the Waverider.

“Can’t believe that worked.” Ava said.

“I can.” Rip said. “Sara knows what she’s doing. I may have flaws but I do know how to pick the best people for the job.”

They were both alone in the parlor while the Legends were having a private meeting somewhere else. Ava didn’t dare to look into Rip Hunter’s eyes. Instead, she kept staring blankly at the screen in front of her. Rip was standing some steps behind her.

_It’s now or never, Ava._ “So why did you pick me?” She asked.

“What? Come on. Brilliant mind, calm demeanor, incredible strength...And, unlike the Legends, you actually follow the rules.” Rip said.

“It almost sounds like I was made for the job…”

“What are you getting at?”

“I know I’m a clone, Rip.” Ava said coldly.

“I see.”

Ava gathered enough courage to turn around. “So why me, huh?” She asked. “Of all the clones in 2213, why did you pick me?”

“You’re special.” Rip said, visibly uncomfortable.

“So why did you erase my memory?”

“I thought it would be easier…”

“Easier? Easier for you or easier for me?”

“Don’t lose focus, Ava. You are too critical to this mission.”

Ava’s walls started to crack… “Well, the good news is if I die, you can just skip off to 2213 and get yourself another clone.”

Rip looked down, embarrassed.

“Oh my God.” Ava said. “I wasn’t even the first one, was I?”

“We both know how hard it is to find agents as talented as you. And to find one who is also replaceable is invaluable-”

“How many?” Ava asked with tears in her eyes. “How many?” She insisted.

“You’re the 12th.” Rip said.

“The 12th? So I wasn’t even your first choice? Or your second, or-”

“You don’t understand. You are exceptional.”

“Don’t, Rip. Just don’t.”

Ava walked away, fighting the tears flooding her eyes. She felt hurt. Deeply hurt. And the questions that had been screaming in her mind grew stronger, almost unbearable. _Is there an Ava at all?_

* * *

While Rip and Ava were speaking, the Legends’ meeting came to an end and Sara walked toward the galey with the intention of enjoying a well-deserved coffee.

She found Damien Darhk in the hallway next to the lab, where his daughter was kept. Sara stopped her tracks and remained distant.

“Nora’s gone. It’s just Mallus now.” He said. “You must be enjoying this, seeing your nemesis with a broken heart.”

“I didn’t know you had a heart to break.” Sara said. “Where was it the night you murdered my sister?”

“Look, what I did was unforgivable. But back then I hadn’t loved anyone enough to understand the pain that I caused.” Darhk confessed. “Not that it’s any comfort, but if I could take it all back, I would.”

“We all have regrets. But we can’t undo the things that we’ve done.”

“True. But even the worst of us can be made whole again. You, for example.” Darhk said. “League to Legend. Killer to Captain. That’s not a bad makeover, is it?”

“It’s not good enough.” Sara replied.

“Why? Because you put on the Death Totem and almost killed your entire team?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t, did you?” Damien said, looking Sara in the eyes, his tone of voice stronger. “And you know why? The same reason I’m spilling my guts to a woman who’s imagined my death a thousand times over.”

“More like ten thousand.” Sara said. She was fighting the urge to kill that man right there. Seeing him speaking, alive in front of her made her sick.

“Love, Sara. Because without it, people like us, we’re left alone in the darkness… That’s not good for anyone, is it?”

Hearing these words, Sara’s mind was taken back from the anger and pushed towards memories. The memory of Ava’s hand on her chest the moment she woke up from the nightmare… The memory of her sweet, genuine smile when she had called her ‘girlfriend’... The memory of that same familiar, soothing touch on her chest when Sara was about to lose herself to the darkness… And the memory of Ava willing to stay, even after that.

Memories of love.

And Sara walked away from Damien Darhk, thinking that maybe, if she could embrace that love… intense, irrational, scary, uncertain, beautiful, deep, true... if only she could embrace it just as it was, then maybe she could be there for Ava and show her she deserved all the good things in the world. 

The Legends, Rip and Ava met at the bridge a few minutes later. They stood around the control panel and discussed what to do next. 

Zari hadn’t found any loopholes in history that they could use to help Amaya save her village without releasing Mallus from his prison.

Sara thought about this and had an idea. She grabbed the Death totem.

“We have the six totems, the only thing that Mallus is afraid of.” She said. “But you can’t fight what you can’t see. What if the only way to kill Mallus is to let him out?”

“Are you really suggesting that we allow Mallus to escape because you have a collection of magical stones?” Ava asked, confused.

“Look,we have two choices.” Sara said. “We fight Amaya or we fight Mallus. And I know it sounds crazy to let a time demon out, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to stomach than turning on a friend.”

Damien Darhk walked into the bridge and offered to wield the death totem because he had nothing to lose. Besides, he shared with Sara the reason why the totem was attracted to her in the first place: they were both brought back from the death.

The captain immediately tossed the stone for him to catch it.

“Death totem’s all yours.” She said.

“Sara, you can’t be serious.”

“Ava, we don’t have a choice.” Sara replied.

“Our only choice is to stop Amaya and stop the anachronisms. This is insanity”

“Insane is what we do best, Ava.” 

“I will not condone this behavior and the Bureau certainly does not stand behind you.” Ava said. “Rip, let’s go, we have work to do.”

“Remember when I told you that we would need the Legends before this was through?” Rip said. “Perhaps it is time that we set aside the scalpel and let them be the chainsaw.”

Ava pinned him with a frozen stare and said, “I will consider that your resignation.” Before walking away.

“Ava.” Sara called. “Ava, wait.” She followed Ava down the hallway.”This plan can work and you know it. You just need to trust your gut.”

Ava turned around to face Sara. “My gut?” She asked. “You mean the one that was manufactured to factory settings? The same gut that eleven other Avas used and got killed?” Whoever she was, she didn’t want to die.

“Ava,please.” Sara softened her voice and walked closer to Ava. “Just trust me.”

“You don’t understand. This plan breaks every rule in every book, and all I have right now are the rules, okay?”

“You have me.” Sara said. And she kissed Ava softly, lingering, caressing her cheeks.

“What are you doing?” Ava whispered 

“I’m admitting something that could save us both. I love you.”

And so the walls that Ava had carefully built, crumbled down as if they were made of sand. Those three words hit the bull’s-eye on her heart.

Sara was looking directly into her eyes. She seemed honest, and yet… the echoes of rejection in Ava’s mind whispered: _What is there to love?_

“There’s no me to love.” Ava said. Tears flooded her eyes once again, but this time she couldn’t stop them. Before Sara could say anything else, Ava turned on her heels and walked through a portal.


End file.
